Some new news for your fix.


Stippers and Vaginaplasty. Mmmm.. Tasty.

Yes, indeed, nude dancing an art in Iowa, judge rules

Available: QCOnline / Moline Dispatch [www.qconline.com]

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) _ Nude dancing remains an art in Iowa.

A Fremont County judge ruled Friday in favor of a nude dancing club owner charged with violating Iowa's indecent exposure law.

Judge Timothy O'Grady said prosecutors failed to prove that the club wasn't a theater and protected under an Iowa law that allows nudity at such venues devoted to the arts or theatrical performances.

The county attorney had charged former club owner Clarence Judy after a 17-year-old girl climbed up on stage at Shotgun Geniez in Hamburg and stripped off her clothing.

'I think it's a little scary,' Fremont County attorney Margaret Johnson said. 'This person was a minor by just a few months, but what do you do if it's a younger minor? At what point do you say 'This is not appropriate.''

Johnson said she'll provide a copy of the ruling to the state attorney general's office, which will decide whether to appeal the case. Johnson said she hopes to meet with state prosecutors next week about the matter.

If the case is appealed to a higher court, it could affirm the rights of dozens of strip clubs in Iowa or deem them in violation of state law.

A 1998 case in Davenport also found nude dancing is a form of art. Given that, the new owner of the Hamburg club expressed confidence nude dancing would remain legal in Iowa.

'It would be pretty tough to try to appeal it to the Supreme Court,' said Terry Rutledge, who bought the club on Monday. 'In all actuality, you don't have be a theater hall, concert hall or anything. You can be a strip club that has nude dance, which the state of Iowa for the second time has recognized that it is art.'

Arguments in the Hamburg case were made during a one-day trial on July 17. Johnson said the intent of the law is to allow movies in a theater where there's brief nudity or for an art gallery displaying paintings of nudes.

Rutledge, who owned the establishment from 2001 to 2005, said he plans to establish an Iowa Nude Art Center Association. The proposed group would bind Iowa nude dancing clubs together to help establishments that may face similar challenges in the future.

'It's just art and I didn't want to see it die,' Rutledge said about buying the club. 'I didn't want to see somebody give up on it.'

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Australian doctors warn against 'designer vagina' craze


Available: Breitbart News Agency [www.breitbart.com]



Australian doctors have raised concerns about clinics offering vaginal cosmetic surgery, warning the trend towards so-called "designer vaginas" may be exploiting vulnerable women.

The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists said procedures being offered included "vaginal rejuvenation, revirgination, designer vaginoplasty and G-spot amplification".

"What is involved in these procedures is often unclear since recognised clinical nomenclature is not being used," it said in a position paper released this week.

The college labelled the procedures dangerous, expensive and unwarranted, and said it strongly discouraged surgery that was not backed by scientific evidence or clinical trials.

"The real risks of potential complications such as scarring, permanent disfigurement, infection, dyspareunia and altered sexual sensations should be discussed in detail with women seeking such treatments," it said.

The college said women should understand that there were a large number of variations in the appearance of normal female genitalia.

"The college is particularly concerned that such surgery may exploit vulnerable women," it said.

Ted Weaver, chairman of the college's women's health committee, said most of the operations cost at least 10,000 dollars (9,500 US), which he described as an "extraordinary amount of money".

"We feel these operations might prey on people with insecurities and fears who actually need psychological help," he told Australian Associated Press.

"They are also not very anatomically-based and have the potential to cause serious harm."

Doctors in the United States and Britain have raised similar concerns about the surgery.

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Maybe I should start thinking of tramp stamps, as fashion labels? No? Just think of the poor, exploited children of the world... laboring all day for 30 cents per hour to hand craft designer vag's in sweatshops. What a cruel world!!!!

With A Compass, I Still Don't Know Where I Am

Its a skill I doubt many have anymore. Reading maps is for loser's I suppose, just throw a pretty color screen in and call it GPS and people for get things like maps.... topography... and how to use a compass. Its ironic that a single instrument, save maybe for the pen/pencil/writing utensil, would have such a great impact on the societies of the world, but could vanish so quickly. Sure, the pen too is dead in most respects, but the compass is alone, blanketed in a lime bath at the bottom of the great hole. A compass gives direction. A compass is a needle to give you a margin of truth in a vast wilderness. A compass guides ships across the seas so wide that the horizon for days is nothing but seas. A compass is a singular truth, made by man, that is reliable, sturdy, and effective. Sure, I own two GPS units [one of ridiculous color touch screen variety; but as my friends in Chicago and Texas would agree, the interstate highway system at peak rush is not fond of map readers], but in a prized place in The Jeep sits my glass compass and sighting guide. When I'm on foot out in places I'm not sure of, there is a place right on my gear for it. Yet, with an electronic compass on The Jeep's navigation screen, plus my fancy color doo-dad, and the roll of charts under the seat; why carry it? Because, literally, it helps my find my way, even amidst a figurative dissertation. I am lost.

I'm lost because I'm confused. Its not that I don't know what direction to take. Its not that I don't know what direction I have come. I know both of those answers. Without those, even with a compass a map is useless. But I know them. I know that at nearly thirty now, I don't have a lot to show for anything. I'm sitting in the basement of my parent's house. I work a job that really is meant for people who didn't go through college. I've managed to stay single for nearly four years. Just as I know where I have been, I know too the direction to go. At least where it is that I want to go. It just doesn't do me much good looking around in the wilderness, compass in hand. I still find myself just wandering around. It bugs me to know that with the knowledge in my head, the pain in my gut, I still wander. I realize that there isn't a lot of things I can do myself, but something should be better than nothing. I like to say that progress, is progress. But stumbling around is not progress. A compass is useless without the will to move in a direction I suppose.

I calm myself some nights, with the logic that we can not have it all. The sky is never within our grasp any more than the earth belongs to any one person. However, we all push forward with some desire for something. Something gives us our passion to peruse in life. Pursuit is a natural state. Chasing, clutching, clawing for a shred of something to covet all to ourselves. In the end the scrap we hold means as much or less to us, as the path to seize it. So I tell my self that on some nights. The desires of the dream amount to as little as it may, provided the path to it is worthy. So, figuratively I keep a compass, and I keep up my skill. Other nights I argue with my own damned logic.

I suppose I could whine and lament about things longer. But then that little voice would creep up; begging me to think about how fortunate I am. Fortunate for the things I own [even those color screened doo-dads], fortunate to have my health as good as it is, for the clothes on my back, and for the chance to get an education. Which I am. I can't say for once I ever argued that I was not. I picked out my own doo-dads, I beat the shit out of myself, but am wholly responsible for the mess, and even if people laugh at the clothes I wear, I know that all of that too, is as good as the school I picked to attend. So I figure its more of anxiety. Its more like the boredom of sitting around purgatory waiting on my sentence. But its the darker side of it all. Its mainly self induced. I know I don't have the kind of job I want because I wasn't a good student. If I was a good student, I wouldn't need a state education. But I'm not. I'm a terrible student in structured courses, because I only learn what fascinates me. I know that sitting around with my friends at night, or mending some disastrous program, did not earn me a letter to law school. I hope that somewhere someone enjoyed my company, or got some program off the ground that got to someone. I know that if I was healthy enough, I'd have taken that offer so long ago for the Army. I know that if that happened, my ass would be getting thrown out of airplanes over Afghanistan. But my knees wouldn't hold out on those 12 mile runs. My arms just gave out before I could hit 80 push ups and 40 curls. Had I been not so Scott like; I could have made one relationship work. Maybe it wouldn't last for ever and ever, but better than it did. I also realize that if I looked like Brad Pitt, it wouldn't have been so hard to make it work. Or at least I could have had other offers to pick from. But nothing happened like that. Instead I just walk around as lost as everyone else it, even though I know where I want to go. How long do I want to sit around.

Another Day...

I'd say I have had worse days. And I wouldn't really be lying about it. But considering how short this one was; it could have been much worse. That however, doesn't change much.

Overnight there was a storm that raged through the area [errrrr Illinois side of the river, as hardly any of Iowa seemed to have problems]. It knocked down a lot of brush and trees, and some trailers, and brought some wind driven rain. Anyway, most of the Illinois side of the river has no power. Including Menards. But they opened the store anyhow. 6:30 am, and people were screaming about it. But even after we ran out of chainsaws, gas cans, gasoline generators, and all types of lanterns [and most flashlights and D cell batteries], we stayed open. Don't ask me why. I had to ask myself. With two registers open, run off of a generator we opened up, we stayed open until 7pm. All the while letting idiots in the store in the dark, to purchase twizzlers, door knobs, wall paper, plungers, and hornet/wasp spray. All the essentials of a power outage, right? I bit my lip for most of it. But I did draw the line at special orders and people who flat out told me "we just want to look." They, I escorted out. Of course they were pissy. But after getting home, I found out stores were closed all over; most roads are shut down to get there, and the stores that were open limited sales. Best Buy wouldn't allow customers into the store at all--- and would only sell essential items [batteries, back up power supplies, and anything else Best Buy thinks are essentials].

We let all the clowns in. And chased them around in the dark with flashlights. People looking at tile. People purchasing toilets. Old people playing with grab bars. All of them. For what? No breaks. No leaving. No running water or bathrooms [not due to the city, but due to our ridiculous set up that requires an electric pressure booster to split water to the sprinkler systems]. What a wonderful day to be alive in a Menards. Probably the best part of it all though, is how extensive, yet localized the damage is. Again, 5 miles away, across the Mississippi River, really was unaffected... sporadic power outages... but nothing major. The way the clientèle talked today; the world stopped spinning. Just goes to show you how lovely the general public is. I think we did more than most stores did today, effort-wise; but I'm sure the bottom line doesn't show it, but I just can't get past how ungrateful the people were today. Again, its not like this was a war zone, or a hurricane. It rained. Trees blew over. Power went out. Even at Menards.

What gets me the most is how incompetent most of the employees are. Most of them acted as if they had never been in a power outage. True, none of them probably worked through one, but they could have tried a bit harder to make it work. Most bitched about how hot it was. Or how they were crippled without a computer. Some complained that it wasn't possible to figure out pricing for people. Its all very d0-able. Most really just thought it was a game. Many laughed about my rigged up flashlight around my neck; but quit laughing when they were elbow deep in fittings in the dark finding parts for people. No one seemed to understand why I carried a parts catalog and carbon invoices in my pocket all day, but not after I didn't have to wander around to find items, or transcribe skus to people at the registers. Further more, certain departments were crippled because they rely too heavily on the computers to obtain inventory and pricing. Most of mine is memorized; sure its not exact, but I know how deep I am on product, the pricing within a few pennies to a quarter, and I know my skus by memory---they always have laughed at me for that. To me, I made it work better than anyone else, and seemed as little bothered by it as anyone. Store managers were sweating and freaking out, departments were shut down. But my only obstacle were the the people themselves. Not the ones needing things.... but the ones just stomping around.

And the employees who were worthless.... No one seemed to understand the importance of bringing food and water to work. Mine was cold, in a cooler with ice, in the back of the jeep. I thought one girl was going to cry when she realized the power tools were dead and she couldn't scrap a printer for parts. I had the manual versions on my hip. And I could tell her the parts she needed by number and description [thanks in part to my previous lives!] In short, I hope a real disaster never happens around here. These are the people that die of starvation at the grocery store. These were the people that couldn't really rig a day of sales together at the store known for being the king of "rigging" things.

Van Halen - Jump

so what is more 80's than clear acrylic drum kits? a denim vest with a sweat band? maybe spandex so tight it should cause a vasectomy? So... Get your back off that record machine!!! Lace up your Ultimate Warrior leg bands, and get your best leopard print shirt on.... 'cuz... we MIGHT AS WELL JUMP!

Bon Jovi - Living on a Prayer

I'm loopy from the hair spray... maybe some leather and fringe will bring me back... ooooooooooooooooooh we're half way there!!!!!!!!! oooooooOHHHHHH LIVIN ON A PRAYER!!!!

Twisted Sister - I Wanna Rock

and because the hit parade can not continue without it...

Twisted fuckin Sister!

STAND UP AND TELL THE CLASS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!

Damn Yankees - High Enough

can anyone else on earth, wear THAT outfit as successfully as Ted Nugent does?

On second thought; where would this song even be without Uncle Ted.

Wolds best sunglasses ever!!!!!

Night Ranger - Don't Tell Me You Love Me

we need some 80's hits... STAT!!!!

Getting Read RULES!!!!

Mark down the date; JUNE 26 2008

Today was the day, my first time getting read on the Jim Rome show!

My text made it in at about 1:55 under the UUU text contest...

" UUU Sponsor: the dreaded bathroom uni-towel hand dryer. Scott in Flooded Iowa"


BAM! and there it went!

It made Rome cringe; and run into a quick rant about how much he hates them. As do I. With some comment about, "rather using the floor to dry my hands" it was over, and on to the next text. But I made it in! In almost 5 years, I get my first one read while sitting on the couch doing nothing.

FAT!


GOOD NIGHT NOW!


S. [In Flooded Iowa]

Poop On My Bail Money, Don't Mind If I Do...Do !

Goddammit it happened in Davenport. Here goes! [with mugshot goodness]

Man tries to pay court in dirty pennies, sent to jail

QCTimes.net [QC Times available: June 26 2008]

Article by: Ann McGlynn
A man accused of driving with a defective tire is spending seven days in jail after he attempted to pay a bond in dirty pennies and crumpled-up dollar bills, court records show.

James R. Ward, 60, of Center Junction, Iowa, was sent to Scott County Jail on Thursday by Associate Court Judge Christine Dalton, records show.

Ward was arrested on May 12 for driving a tractor trailer on Interstate Highway 280 with a defective tire. The proposed fine and court costs totaled $68.20.

However, Ward decided he wanted a jury trial. In order to do so, Dalton required he post a $100 bond. She set trial for Monday morning.

Ward brought the $100 bond to the clerk of court Thursday. The money consisted of a box of pennies covered with some sort of unknown substance and several crumpled dollar bills, records show.

Documents do not indicate how much of each he brought. Signs posted in the clerk’s office say they will not accept more than $3 in pennies for payment.

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Rumor going around is; that substance looks like mud, smells worse and comes from your butt. Way to go crack-y. First off, wearing overalls in your mugshot did bring a smile to my face, but it can't crack the best parts of your act. Secondly; what kind of redneck drives a tractor on the highways... gets caught, then honestly thinks its a GOOD idea to ask for a trial? That and; what the hell is a defective tire? Any how. Back out on the farm, this wouldn't be news unless someone shits in a box; so he had to improvise. Congrads Cletus.

The Mexican .... Navy?

Whats the Navy good for? I mean really. We used to look around for pirates, sink shit, or maybe run through international blockades with a navy. We used to shoot 50 pound chunks of lead at thinks made of balsa and cotton swabs with our navy. We still can float around more air craft than Cambodia, Laos, Lithuania, Morocco, Cameroon, Chad, Niger, Latvia, East Polynesia, and Equatorial Guinea combined have ever seen in their lives. But what good is a navy? Hell most of the jobs you can think of, we dump off on the Coast Guard. But Mexico... she uses her navy to hunt for sharks. ENJOY!

Mexico Navy hunts for sharks after attacks

Reuters News Service [available: Reuters Online]
By Noel Randewich

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - The Mexican Navy searched for sharks in the ocean near Pacific surfing beaches on Monday, after two bathers were killed and another maimed in a rare spate of shark attacks.

Three boats and a helicopter patrolled the sea while Navy and rescue officials scanned the horizon with binoculars from popular beaches around the southwestern Mexican resort of Ixtapa-Zihuatanejo. They warned surfers not to go far out.

"We've been monitoring the beaches; we've done reconnaissance flights," Rear Adm. Arturo Bernal said, adding that no big shark had been detected yet in the area.

Surfer Bruce Grimes from Texas was bitten on the arm on Saturday off nearby Playa Linda beach, making him the third target of a shark attack in the area in a month.

Two attacks in April and May killed a Mexican and an American -- the first shark deaths off Mexico's Pacific coast in 30 years, according to official records.

Grimes, 49, said he paddled madly toward shore on his board after feeling the unmistakable sandy skin of a shark glide across the bottom of his feet as he straddled his surfboard.

"Then it bumped me really hard. I thought, 'That's definitely a big shark.' I took about three more strokes and he grabbed my arm," said Grimes, who pulled himself free and made it to the beach. He managed to drive himself to a hospital, where he received 100 stitches.

On Friday, Mexican surfer Osvaldo Mata, 21, died after a 6-foot-long (2-m-long) shark seized him, bit off one of his hands and chomped on his thigh. That followed the death in late April of a 24-year-old American who was mauled while surfing nearby.

The Ixtapa-Zihuatanejo government is consulting with experts to determine what could be causing the attacks.

(Editing by Catherine Bremer and Cynthia Osterman)

Iverson Practice!

because two people asked me, what my comments meant on my last post... it means... practice.. practice man. we talkin about practice. not a game! not a game! we talkin about practice.

Dennis Green Flips

One of my favorites....

a slow Me day, busy news day

not a lot else to say about me. im still around. ive graduated from therapy. so... no more hot therapy chick time. hopefully just one more medical appointment before im totally released. so far they have upped my weight limit to 40 pounds; which for most people would be normal. not me. anyhow.. some interesting news.

Burro jailed in Mexico for biting, kicking people

Quad City Times [available: QcTimes.net]

TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico — A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.

The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state, police said Monday.

Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills.

``Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed,'' Gomez said — ``no matter who they are.''

The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, told The Associated Press he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men's bills, estimated at US$420 (euro270).

The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.

``All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid,'' Hernandez said.

Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro.

Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March.

In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined US$18.

-------------------------------- leave it to mexico.... what are we talking about? a donkey. a donkey. we're talking about a donkeys. not the horse that i ride in the country, not the black bear that kills and maims... but a donkey. we talkin' bout a donkey. i know, i know, im supposed to be a role model, and im supposed to do all that, but we talking about a donkey.

Davenport murder victim a loner, mom says

Quad City Times [available: QcTimes.net]

On the day Victoria Jones buried her murdered son Dane Howard in 2000, her oldest son was arrested for sexually abusing a teenager.

That son, Hano Bailey, always kept to himself, was a loner, she said. That is why it is hard for her to believe that he, too, was shot to death late Thursday in what police are describing as a targeted attack.

Bailey had been out of prison on that sex abuse charge for just a couple of months.

“I couldn't understand when they said someone jumped out of a car and sprayed all those bullets,” Jones said. “The only thing he’s been doing is going to work and coming home. Any of my other sons, I would expect something like that to happen.”

Bailey was shot while walking into his job as a dishwasher at the IHOP on 53rd Street about 11 p.m. He died in surgery early Friday morning at Genesis Medical Center, East Rusholme Street, Davenport.

Bailey, a registered sex offender who was released from the Anamosa State Penitentiary March 5, was shot several times by an assailant who got out of a dark-colored car driven up near the front door of the restaurant. The gunman shot the victim, returned to the car and fled.

Investigators are interviewing witnesses, including customers and employees, said Capt. David Struckman of the Davenport Police Department. They also are reviewing video surveillance from IHOP and surrounding businesses.

The IHOP is far from the central-city area now targeted by police because of increased violence. Bailey’s most recent address at 1125 Iowa Ave., however, is in that targeted area.

The restaurant was open Friday morning, with fluorescent green spray paint marking the driveway.

Bailey has a criminal record that stretches back several years. He was convicted of third-degree sex abuse in 2001 and sentenced to 15 years in prison. He was charged after having sex with a 15-year-old girl at his apartment. He was 33 years old at the time.

Bailey also has convictions for assault, theft and eluding.

His most recent arrest was on May 9 on a drug possession charge. He was at a convenience store at 12th and Brady streets about 10:30 p.m. that night when he was approached by police officers. He threw a plastic bag containing approximately 2½ grams of marijuana to the sidewalk.

The convenience store is a block away from where one of his cousins, Vincelina Howard, 19, lost her life in August 2006, during a drive-by shooting.

Bailey is the son of Jones and the late Hano Bailey III, who died in 2001 at the East Moline Correctional Center while serving a 15-year sentence for criminal sexual assault out of Adams County.

His half-brother, Dane Howard, 17, was shot and killed in October 2000. Two other brothers, Quinton Howard and Dennis Bailey, are in prison on drug charges.

Bailey’s shooting was the fourth in Davenport in a week.

One week ago, Jeremy Booth, 22, was shot in the leg in the 300 block of East 14th Street. Phillip Bogan was charged with interference with official acts; Travis Rush, 17, of Davenport is the accused gunman and is charged with willful injury with serious injury; and Kelsey Reitz, 19, of Davenport is charged with felony eluding.

On Sunday, Kevin Bogan, 18, was shot in back in the 800 block of East 15th Street. He is Phillip Bogan's brother. Lewis Lonedale Lee, 20, of Davenport, is charged with going armed with intent and willful injury with serious injury. Roylee Richardson, 17, is wanted for willful injury with serious injury.

On Monday, several shots were fired just north of Central High School about 4:30 p.m. Officers found evidence of the shooting in the form of spent shell casings and damage to two cars. One of the cars belongs to a Central teacher. It had five bullet holes in it, police said. A second car, which was going east on 12th, also sustained damage, according to police.

There were no injuries in the incident, which Mayor Bill Gluba characterized as three people “emptying” a .40-caliber pistol on a targeted victim.

Services for Bailey are pending.

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Stay classy Quad Cities!

Eye of the [Fat] Tiger

well today was my first day of rehab. it was.... not what i expected it to be. i kinda figured it would be more massage type things at this stage, and more simple flexibility/ agility tests than it was. no. it was... [drum roll] paperwork! yes, not only is this an insurance gimmick, but somehow im supposed to self ascribe my own plan of rehab. they "consult" with that. the nutritionist person asked me a bunch of questions; then gave me some paper work, then tried that "consultive" horse shit with me. don't horse shit a horse i say. my plan? "i think i should eat more fatty meats... maybe even salt cured meats. i think with some prosciutto in my veins, and 3 kg's of roast beef and cheese three times per day; i will be the model of American fitness." she was so pissed she didn't even laugh. pity. i was reminded that with my height and weight, given my age, i am a minimum of 50 pounds over weight. she let that sit before i came up with something else smart to say. she also hammered me some more on my limited physical activity and agility scores. however; does anyone who has ever met me, confuse me with a marathon runner? i reminded her that with a surgically repaired knee, with birth defected foot and gait impairment, and a disdain of sweating in public; i was about a good as it gets. although, we did talk about how much better shape i had been in at different points in my life. regardless, 50 pounds is a lot. that stung a bit. im not real sure about whats going to happen with that. they went on and on lecturing me about swimming as a zero-impact method to exercise; i reminded them of my morbid phobia of being in open water. they mentioned biking, i mentioned uncomfortable seats and gay helmets. they went with working me to jogging and jump rope activities; i said i shouldn't turn into Rocky III's training sequence. after that it was quiet, and the gate keeper let me pass. and like moses at the top of mount nebo, i saw the greener pastures of the land of milk and honey. it was tan, it was mostly fit what i was concerned, and it was blonde. we call her emily. and she made me stop and pay attention. not the kind i should have. see, she gets the unfortunate distinction of me, as a patient. one whom she has to demonstrate odd body posture exercises to; and one who has to get touchy feely with the man of fat and anger himself. im sure tonight, she questions the wisdom of being licensed in pt, or rejects the manipulative hands of god to force her here. i tried really hard not to smile. i tried really hard not to get too excited. if you know what i mean. i tried and failed to certain degrees. what i can say is it was quite clear she had no interest in me removing any clothing, that much was clear. i think i even saw it on her face how degrading it must feel to make like a table dancer for me; knowing i enjoyed it. in all honesty though; she was ... quite beautiful. i really did try my best to not to make her uncomfortable about it. me, being the one on drugs, with back pain, was working overtime making sure someone else was not uncomfortable. i was a bit off too. she took my history, which i expected, for the third time in the day, but also slipped in a few questions i hadn't anticipated.... what high school i went to, where i was from, if i went to college, and if i was married, or dating anyone. the last one really caught me off guard. im sure there is a sound medical reason why. thinking back to my cyst time of fun; they did ask me that as well... it was to see if anyone could repack my dressing for me. [of course not, and what fun that was to do by myself, behind my back]. but i didn't capitalize on it. i should have. all the smart shit comments i had made to that point in the day, i sat pretty quiet and looked straight ahead. and gave her a plain, "no. there isn't anyone like that." she did make a mild amount of eye contact. i found that interesting too. some people are like that. but she did lock right on me when i gave her the drugs and dosages im on, both branded and generics; and could name most of the muscle groups she was targeting in the stretching exercises we did later. enough so that she stopped me at one point and clarified where i worked and what i did for a living. she got the stock answer. "i sell toilet seats to people in trailer parks." she didnt ask me any more questions then. but thats how glamorous i am. i have no life outside of this shitty job. i get diseases, and tear out muscles working it. and now, im accused of being morbidly obese per my BMI score. i am a prize to be had, aren't i? maybe going the way of Rocky III wouldn't be so bad. i do know that heart disease runs on my fathers side of the family. i really not sure about it. for now though, i have 3 more rehab sessions before im released back to the wild. but day 1 is in the can.

... Hitting The Medicine Cabinet Again

well it seems like it lately, but generally i find it pretty easy to avoid the doctor's office. as i learned today, it had been slightly more than 10 years since i had seen my GP. so why this joyous occasion? it has to do with a certain propensity of 'blue to dump ass loads of freight in places they don't belong. in short, i pretty much threw my lower back out lifting heavy shit that was left on the floor. from the floor, picked up, walked up a ladder, then put on a shelf above head height. x 50. thats probably what did me in. anyhow. i went from numbness, to discomfort, to grid lock in about 6 hours. thinking that it was just general soreness; i went to bed. shoes on my feet! [because i cant bend over to untie them] to wake up WORSE than i was. somehow sleep aggravated my condition. quite plainly; it took 20 minutes for me to sit up in bed this morning. i just couldn't move my back. when i did, it was like ramming a steak knife in my hip. charming. after tears of pain, and enough frustration; i called into work. this is a big deal. keep in mind; i didn't call in when i had pneumonia. i didn't call in when i dislocated my knee. and i didn't call in when i thought i had broken my fingers. i called in to say id be late. "NO YOU WONT, NOT WITHOUT A DOCTORS NOTICE" then the inevitable ..click.. so i started calling around two hours later. my best choice was to wait around at the doctors office to see if they could fit me in--- all appointments are full for the day. so i sat there for two hours, in moderate discomfort watching the elderly fart past me, and the hypochondriacs get their fillls in for the week. here i sat, mostly able bodied, wanting to work, but not allowed until Moses and his wife cleared out first. eventually they saw me, took my history, then came back to tell me that any workplace injuries had to be seen by the employer's insured facility. so back in the car, limping and stiff walked i go; i drive across town. to find [of course] the facility has moved. another 20 minutes later, after my parents found out where over the phone for me, i was on my way. to sit in another lobby for an hour before i could be seen. where i also was lucky enough to get a female doctor, who had a sense of humor. the first thing she said was, "why dont you go ahead and strip down for me so we can get a look here" i laughed and told her that was the first time in 4 or 5 years a woman said that to me. she didnt laugh at first. i knew i was dealing with a tough crowd. to spare us the rest of the details; without getting an MRI [is that some new STD they came up with Doc?], they couldn't tell if its a muscle strain or partial tear. no matter. Old Blue will probably just pay for the duct tape to patch it over, or the bullet to end it all; with our insurance. so they offered me some wonderful candies i have not yet sampled before today. [a parting gift, but i thought i solved the puzzle Doc]. add naproxen and metaxalone to the list of drugs ive been on; for those keeping score at home. its some kind of higher grade Aleve and "moderate to strong" muscle relaxant. 5 hours later, im 3 and 3 pills in; and i think i was better off with ice packs and that old tube of Flexall i still had. oh well. the drugs were free. and isnt that what its about; doping us up to infinity with out paying out of pocket! cheers fuckers! and sorry if that saw blade now costs .13 cents more; its because of my new drugs! and the epilogue to my tale of sadness; i also am privileged to receive a follow up visit as well as three therapy sessions before im released to normal duties. because that wont be like pulling teeth to get to. as it was, i went unpaid for the day to day to go through all of this. just another day at the fun farm.

Hamburglar clears the air a bit here; mainly due to my infatuation with him, I thought I could work this bit in too.

Perspective: I’ve Taken Your Clown-Faced Burger Bullshit for Long Enough

[available: The MQ Online Volume 10 Issue 6]

The Hamburgler

Ronald McDonald? More like Ronald McFuckerson. You and your lame-ass clown suit can eat my burger-eating ass. I have two delinquents and a wife in the streets and I never get respect. Now it’s “me” time: Hamburgling time. I have taken your clown-faced burger bullshit for long enough.

For 34 years, I have slaved behind your fake smile. You done me wrong, Ron, and that ain’t right. “All the kids love me!” That’s what you told us. You took all the cred and left us all in the darkness. I know now that was a ray-croc of shit, you never cared about me. All I want to do right now is choke you to death with my red tie with hamburgers on it.

When I got out of the McPrison for stealing those Fish Filets, Mayor McCheese was there. Officer Big Mac still supported me. Even Buzz fucking Lightyear hooked this brother up. But you? Nothing. You were off getting high with that Jack-in-the-Box corporate whore. Learn to respect the little people, asshat.

I looked up to you, man. When I was young, you brought us all in as equals. Little did I know you’d turn out to be such a pube-bucket. All we wanted was recognition of our hard work, but no, you needed the statuses of yourself AND the Ronald McDonald playhouse. You couldn’t get enough of yourself, and now I’m going to quarter-pound your face in with a shit-burger.

Remember that 1990’s “Beanie Baby” craze? Do you remember the night before when, while we were drunk in your basement, I told you my idea to market them? Do you remember my disgusted face as you trampled me on your way to the top? That’s right, dong-captain, you stole my ideas. But never burgle a burglar, bitch. I’m coming after you and your size 23 feet, and I am gonna bust a McCap in your lame-ass yellow jumpsuit.

Dear Lord.... This Article Title Says It All....


PENIS THEFT PANIC HITS CITY!!!

[available: Reuters News Service - April 23rd, 2008]

By Joe Bavier

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a

Kinshasa police station.

(Editing by Nick Tattersall and Mary Gabriel)

------------/////--------------------

Yeah. I've had this happen. When certain people touch me, my penis has disappeared! WTF. It happens to everyone. In much the same way that Jenna Jameson, and Hootie McBoob at the local slut parlor..errrrrrrrrr strip club; must be some kind of penis sorceresses. Because EVERY time they touch me, they can make my penis grow.

cold keys. thats really all i can say. its been more than two months since ive warmed them back up. in general we haven't missed out on much. i know that the outer, larger, more important world hasn't been saddened by my absence. so a bit of an update is in order i suppose...in no particular order....


i went to, and survived the state of texas. it was a blast. it was my first real vacation. spent about a week out on my own. due to my forgotten cell phone charger, i largely spent the whole time without out any human contact. still a good thing. ive also ascertained that austin, houston, and san antonio are all fantastic places for me to end up some day. lots more about it all; pictures and such... but let it suffice; it was a good thing

i survived pneumonia. its taken about two full weeks to get "moderately healthy" i still have some problems with shortness of breath, and i think i have sinus infection now; and the cough hasn't completely gone away. its better. ill make it. not that anyone seems to care if it would have killed me. just that id always imagined a bit more gun fire or explosions to carry me out of the world... not pints of mucus and fluid in my lungs choking me.

ive officially worked 65 hours in one work week. i did not want to break the 70 barrier. remember too, that im hourly. its not a glamorous nor lucrative job either. so to my lawyer and doctor [or soon to be] friends; try doing what you do for 1/3 the money; and tell me its still worth it. its not. it really is not.

Ahoy!

Time for some useless trivia.



So. I was watching Master and Commander: Far Side of The World tonight, which if you have not seen, by all means, go do so.... it really is that good, even if it takes liberties with the books. And I decided to start poking around the internet about sailing ships of that era.... blah blah... oldest commissioned ship in the world; HMS Victory... didn't know that. Oldest commissioned ship STILL sailing, USS Constitution... DID know that... Then I came across the useless trivia bit. How many US ships, currently afloat in our navy, have been attributed to sinking an enemy vessel in combat? Go ahead. Guess. Your wrong. Waaaaay wrong. Its such a small number, I had problems trying to fathom it. FOUR. A total of FOUR US ships have such a kill number chalked up to them. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to be "Likes To Hate On The Navy" Guy; but I am going to state, "thats a pretty god damn small number." So whats worse than a random fact? The useless part! So I sat down and did some research... The four US warships to do that are: the USS Porter, USS Carter Hall, USS Simpson, and.... the USS Constitution. Hold up. Thats not good enough to be Scott useless yet! Lets look at who they sunk. Does that matter? Be-grumblingly, yes it does. The incidents involving the USS Porter [a destroyer class], and the USS Carter Hall [a landing ship!!!], involved pirates. Yes. The modern, non-patch wearing, type. But pirates afloat in international waters, attacking law abiding ships, so we smoked them. No laughing matter. Unless, you are the pirate ship. In which case, why the hell would you tape an UZI to the radio antenna, and think you could take down an oil tanker for cash/hostages, with a United States destroyer hovering on the horizon? But pirates don't count. Why not? Haven't you killed a roach before? A mouse? Its a pest. You are 90 times its body weight, and 1820894 rungs above it on the food chain; its not a challenge, and really nothing to boast about. Like shooting down pirates on rubber rafts, or whatever it is they called a ship. The useless portion of the trivia takes us to our final two contestants...... the ones that actually engaged and sunk state-sponsored aggressors in the open seas! the USS Simpson and the USS Constitution. The Simpson, which is a guided missile ship, engaged and eliminated a Iranian patrol ship in 1988. This was in response to Iran deploying mines in shipping lanes, and us really thinking it necessary to smack the stink off their shit for doing such. So as Iran sailed out to the Simpson to engage it, we took that as an act of aggression [rightfully so], and now they sleep with the fishes... yarrrr. Right? Yes. So thats it. One kill. Thats all she has. So drum rollllllllll; that means the biggest killer in our navy, right at this moment..... is made of wood, and rolls with cloth sails and 24 pound cannons. Yeah. Truthfully, the most recent action she has seen, was in the War of 1812, where she took 9 casulties of war; of which two didn't really sink, but were set ablaze and scuttled [the HMS Java, and the HMS Guerriere]. So.... thats it. How useless is that? Enough to take up the space and kill an hour on my part!


So I leave you with some picture of her glory. The deadliest ship, still afloat in the US Navy.

DForce

Dragonforce. Its got to be the gayest name for a band ever..... Is there any doubt that its a power metal band from England? None on my end. But thats why I never gave them a listen... until today. Holy hell can they shred. I guess they are all sorts of popular due to a song of theirs being on GuitarQueero III... but my God is it impressive. Its so fast, and sustained through the entire song... after song, after song. Its starting to make my ears tired. Seriously, I can't listen to it much longer because its hard to process and take it all in, long songs, played uber fast. But the gay element comes back in when you listen to the vocals and the lyrics. At least somethings still make sense in this world.... but give them a listen...


Youtube clip of THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES Hang with this until about 3:30 into it... then comes the goodness of close up shots as they trade solos... and its not faked... they do this live....

Saving Throw vs FIRE!!!!

Was It Magic Missile He Attempted? Should'a Been Cure Light Wounds!



I had to take a full second to let it settle with me. But in all its glory; here it is from:

The Sioux City Journal, [available: Online ]

Two children dead in 'suspicious' fire
Firefighters carry bodies from windows on second story
By Michele Linck, Journal staff writer

SIOUX CITY -- Sioux City police are investigating the deaths of two children after firefighters carried them out the second-floor windows of a smoke-filled house Sunday afternoon.

Police are investigating the fire, at 1420 Nebraska St., as suspicious, department spokesman Marti Reilly said in a 9 p.m. news conference Sunday.

Reilly said authorities believe the children lived in the home, but he declined to release their names or ages, or to confirm they were both girls, as fire officials at the scene had said. He said they were withholding names until family members could be notified.

He also declined to identify the children's parents, saying there were "issues" with the parents. He confirmed the children had "more than two" parents.

He said he had no information on whether anyone else was in the house at the time, but said the other people who lived there were aware of the fire.

Firefighters believed the children were dead when they carried them from the home, Reilly said, but paramedics continued to do first aid all the way to St. Luke's Regional Hospital and until they were pronounced dead.

He said the cause of death was suspicious but won't be known until after autopsies are performed. The autopsies are scheduled for this morning.

He said both fire and police departments are investigating the cause of the fire, which they know started in the basement of the home. He said he didn't know how it started.

The 911 fire call was made at 4:19 p.m. from a cell phone by a caller who declined to be identified, Reilly said.

Neighbors stood on their porches and across the street in the unseasonably mild weather watching as more than a dozen firefighters put out the source of the smoke while others carried the children's bodies, one by one, from the porch roof, down a ladder and into a waiting ambulance.

A little girl who lives next door said she and two girls who lived in the smoky house walked to elementary school together and gave their names. A little boy in the yard asked why they died, although it was not clear then that they had or that the children carried out were the two girls they knew.

Sioux City Fire Marshal Chuck Hirsch and police investigators arrived at the house shortly after the children were taken out and police crime scene ribbon was put around the property.

Fire department spokesman Joe Rodriguez said at the scene that city computer records did not indicate who owned the property or whether the owner also lived in the house.

--------which was the original story.... then.... dum dum dum... the update!!!!!


Two dead in ritual killing
Girls, 8 and 10, stabbed, strangled; suspect says deaths a spell gone bad
By Dolly A. Butz, Journal staff writer

SIOUX CITY -- Two girls found dead in a smoke-filled house Sunday were the victims of a ritual slaying, police said Monday.

Their stepfather, Lawrence Douglas Harris Sr., 25, has been arrested and charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of Kendra Suing, 10, and Alysha Suing, 8.

Police Lt. Marti Reilly said Harris had been performing "some strange ritual." Harris told investigators he was casting a spell that "had gone bad" and the spell "could have had severe consequences," according to Sioux City Police Chief Joe Frisbie.

Harris is being held at the Woodbury County Jail in lieu of $2 million bond and is set to appear in court Jan. 17.

At a news conference Monday afternoon, Frisbie said Kendra and Alysha Suing were were dead before the fire and appear to have died of strangulation and stab wounds. Frisbie said an official cause of death will not be released for several days.

Sioux City Police and Fire departments responded Sunday afternoon to an anonymous report of a fire at 1420 Nebraska St. When officers arrived at the scene, Frisbie said, Harris indicated that the victims were dead in their bedrooms. Frisbie said Harris told authorities he was the only adult present at the scene. The girls' mother, Marla Harris, also lives at the house.


"You're talking about people casting spells, spells gone bad," Frisbie said. "Obviously, there is a lot more going on here than a straightforward homicide."

Frisbie said Harris also "appeared to have blood on his person" at the scene. He said the investigation is ongoing and declined to say whether Harris had confessed to the murders or whether the girls had been sexually assaulted.

Frisbie confirmed that the fire was set in the basement of the home but declined to speculate on whether it was set as part of a ritual or to cover up evidence.

"A lot of times arson is generally used to cover up other criminal activity," Frisbie said. "I don't know if that was his intent at this point."

The murder is the first multiple homicide in Sioux City since the August 2001 slayings of Leticia Aguilar, her five children and businessman Ronald Fish.

On Monday afternoon, family members removed furniture from the house, which had miminal damage, and loaded it into a red pickup truck. Two pictures, of Alysha and Kendra Suing, sat on a small plastic orange and yellow picnic table on the front porch.

The Suings were students at Irving Elementary School. They transferred to the district in April from out of state, said Sioux City Community Schools Superintendent Larry Williams.

Family members said Kendra and Alysha Suing enjoyed spending time on computers, reading books and listening to music. A favorite song was "Barbie Girl."

Joe Suing of St. Helena, Neb., whose son Craig Suing of Springfield, Ill., is the girls' father, said he hadn't talked to the girls in two years.

"You know, I wish I'd got to know them a little better," Joe Suing said. "I do know that when they used to come to visit, they liked to see their grandpa when they did see him."

He said the girls' mother, Marla Harris, and Harris had married about a year ago but said, "I don't know the situation, what the guy was like."

"It makes a guy mad that they have to pick on kids," Suing said. "If it was a grownup or somebody that had the ability to protect themselves or had a 50-50 chance, you know ...."

"I don't think it's really sank in for me yet," he said.

Williams said counselors and a limited number of faculty members were informed of the deaths before school started Monday morning. He said a general announcement was made individually to each class.

"In a situation of this case, we're almost just as concerned with the welfare of the adults that work closely with these children as we are with the children," Williams said while fighting back tears. "There were a lot of tears this morning."

Williams said multiple counselors were on hand throughout the school day to help students cope with the tragedy and they may be present at the elementary school today.

-------------
Its hillarious.... yes. Yah, its said, he killed his kids. But, did he really need to go Dungeons and Dragons on their asses? Yes, he flipped off the Magic Missile, but someone must have mingled with the vocations step of his spell.... OHZ NOZ!!!11!!!1elventy1 Fantastically he failed his Saving Throw vs. Fire so poorly, he must have lobbed the d20 off the table... because not only were the goblins still advancing, but he'd managed to kill off his party, and light the basement on fire!!! Cure Light Wounds won't help now! How many experience points do you loose for that? N00b. Maybe he should try practicing, Cone of Protection on his asshole when he goes to prison for murder.... or at least pray that no one is playing Rogue class with his jail house wallet !!! 150 XP for all who read this without laughing... -50 for everyone who know what the references meant!

Daddy, whats LARP? And why do you have a water bottle tucked in your blanket, tucked into your pants like that?

Next game I call DM!

More News To Use...

Really, its the quotations that make this post worthy. But anyhow, I guess I'm in an underwear sort of posting mood.... enjoy!




Covering Up Plumber's Crack
[taken from: First Coast News - Jacksonville, FL Online Article]



MONTEREY, CA -- A couple California moms think they have the solution to a century's old dilemma.

Best friends Christine Meeks and Kelly DeSerpa have come up with the "Hip-T."

It's a way to keep the "plumbers crack" in its pants.

Wikepedia defines "plumber's crack" as a minor exposure of the buttocks and the gluteal cleft between them, often because of low slung trousers.

You've seen plumbers crack on plumbers, babies, and women who have no idea or pretend not to.

That's where Christine Meeks and Kelly DeSerpa come in.

They came up with the idea to solve plumbers crack when one of their daughters complained about it.

After a little thought and some practice designs they came up with what they call the "Hip-T."

Their idea looks like a tube top and comes in a variety of colors. It's aimed at covering rear-end exposure.

So about one year ago, out of a bedroom converted into an office, and with about $15,000 between them, the pair started sewing.

"I cut, Christy sewed and we sold them all that night. Everyone said, 'oh my gosh, this is the best idea ever,'" said DeSerpa.

Most sales take place on line through their web site.

They say they've already shipped to all 50 states since the idea came up one day last year.

At Everette Alvarez High School, the principal says that fashion is strictly forbidden in the parent student handbook.

But he admits the school always welcomes anything that could help change the trend.

"If it brings awareness to the parents and the community to pay attention to what your kids are wearing and whether its hip or not, here is a way to look at the structure and a change in the way of culture," said Principal Darren Sylvia.

The youth, with the often frowned-upon style, is a tough target market according to Meeks and DeSerpa, but they're just getting started.

"They have assets and they need to keep those close to them and not share them with the world. Not everything needs to be shared with the world 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year," said Meeks.


********
Not only are these 'tards convinced that this "idea" of theirs is so great that the local press should have gotten involved, but that theyve sunk more thank 15grr into it. Bad? Yes. Worse. "oh my gosh, this is the best idea ever,'" said DeSerpa." Actually its not. Bitch, its called UNDERWEAR. For those so inclined not to wear it, the solution is actually a belt. I'll take my 15grr back now, thank you. PS... Its 19.95 plus shipping, if anyone actually cares. NEXT!

Wal-Mart Yanks Pink 'Credit Card' Panties Off Racks

[taken from: Fox News Channel Online Article]

[totally hotttttt pic!]

Suggestive pink Santa panties targeting young girls are being removed from Wal-Mart stores after parents objected to the offensive undergarments.

The panties, which were sold in the juniors department, seemed to suggest that girls don't need money, they just need a sugar daddy — in this case Santa Claus.

The hipster briefs — carrying the slogan "Who needs credit cards ..." on the front and "When you have Santa" on the derriere — caused an uproar among parents, who called for the $2.96 drawers to be pulled off the racks.

"We have directed our stores to remove this merchandise from our shelves," Linda Brown Blakely, a spokeswoman for Wal-Mart, told FOXNews.com Wednesday.

The undergarments had caused a stir on some blogs prior to Wednesday's announcement. Scarlett, a reader of Feministing.com, alerted the blog to the holiday-inspired undies, which she found on a rack in the juniors department of a Wal-Mart in Cary, N.C.

"There's nothing quite like telling adolescent girls that they don't need to worry about finances since they have their very own moneypot between their legs," Jessica Valenti, the executive editor of Feministing.com, wrote on the panty blog post.

Scarlett was so incensed by the message on the front of the panties, she didn't even see the Santa kicker in the rear, she wrote on the blog.

"I still think that the entire thing is messed up. This isn't just a cute T-shirt that says 'Just ask Santa,'" she wrote. "This is a pair of panties. Exactly how nice to Santa would the girl have to be in order to get stuff?"

******

Classic! Why don't I just fuse the logic of these two stories, and create blouseable thongs that have l.e.d. readouts saying, "I like your money" or "Daddy's little slut", or "Swipe Charge Card Here." But the whole "money pot" comment just seals the deal on this one.

And How Could I Refuse This News...

[sadly, with no picture goodness]
[taken from: Townsville Bulletin Online]

A MOTHER who coerced her virgin 15-year-old daughter to have sex with her 35-year-old boyfriend stunned a District Court jury yesterday when she said she was being blackmailed by the boyfriend who had photographs of her having sex with a dog.

The mother of four, who is serving a jail term for her role in the matter, was giving evidence on day two of the rape trial of her former de facto.

The man has pleaded not guilty to three counts of rape and one of attempted rape.

Under cross examination from defence barrister Harvey Walters, the woman admitted that before she met the defendant, she had posted pictures of herself naked on the internet.

She admitted she sometimes met the men who contacted her, and agreed on one occasion while living in Cairns, had been in trouble for stalking one of those she met.

She said she met the defendant on the internet in mid-2003, and in person in Ingham for the first time in November of that year.

The woman said she and the man had got very drunk one night, and he had taken photographs on his mobile phone of her having sex with a dog.

The woman denied Mr Walter's suggestion that she was lying about being blackmailed, because she needed to make up an excuse for what she had done to her daughter.

The woman denied the suggestion, angrily replying that `if I needed an excuse, I could think up something better than doing something that was as disgusting and depraved as having sex with an animal'.

Mr Walters immediately asked her if that was the case, why did she voluntarily have sex with the same dog on a second occasion soon after the first, and again allowed herself to be photographed doing it.

"Because I thought I was in love, I don't know why, women do strange things when they think they're in love," the woman said.

As her relationship developed with the man, she learnt through his cousin that her new boyfriend was keen to have sex with her 15-year-old daughter.

When confronted with the allegation, the man denied it and she moved her family from Cairns to Townsville to be closer to the man.

She and her children eventually moved in with him in Ingham.

The woman said she approached her daughter to agree to his requests for sex because of the bestiality photographs he had threatened to put on the web.

She said the first time, in the early hours at the Ingham home, the man had demanded sex with the girl and she had got her daughter to go to their bedroom.

She said she sat outside in the gutter for about 40 minutes before going back inside.

The trail continues before Judge John McGill this morning.

**********

Yes. Absolutely yes. Its got incest. Its got bestiality. And its got blackmail. Why shouldn't this be a family to stay together???? Classic. Go world. You've done it again.

News I Can't Refuse

This is great. Really great. See, all this time, I have always heard about the ugly girls... or the fat girls.... or the strange girls that make cat noises during class, with stickers of cats on their gear... make these kinds of remarks, but never for the opposite side of the coin? What is it. Why sexing it up, of course. See ugly girls or fat girls often times make excuses for why the 90% middle norm of males in their age bracket, would not put theirs, their buddy's, or a simulated plastic penis into these girls hooha regions. Excuses commonly heard; "I'm waiting for the right one." "I'm saving my self." "Sex doesn't mean anything to me." "Its not that good." "I'm busy eating burritos." See all these reasons exist for the pure reason of psychoanalyzing our fat and ugly selves out of the need for sex. Por que? Well Dr. Phil, they have to create a justification for why their friends get the sexy-times, and why they don't get the hands on experience of baby making. Its got to be justifiable and believable. So we help bolster our daughters, our friends, our sisters, and even sometimes the creepy lady at church, by agreeing with the logic. But yes, stuffing a burrito in the mouth does make it difficult. I digress. What has astounded me was the total absence of the inverse relation: namely, women TOO good for sex. We, as men, focus on making fun of women NOT good enough for sex, and often can't fathom the abyss that is: TOO good for sex. [Married readers keep the mouths shut here] See, we presume, rightly as men, that sex should always be an option. Unless you are that weirdo that talks about her 7 calico cats, who wears the cat sweatshirt to class, and makes cat noises. Those cases, and most fat girls, we abandon. Its survival. Its Darwin. We don't fuck with it. We fuck with all the rest of them! So here is why the women TOO good for sex make me laugh. The Justifications. And yes, it even has a picture of a woman, mid 30s to early 40s who, is entirely hittable... given our list of exceptions at least [not 400 pounds, no burrito in mouth, no noticeable feline complex], she is as we say, fair game. But not so! Shes turned off to sex. How has she rationalized that? Its not eco friendly. Say what...

While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal.

"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.

Seriously. Its completely insane. This is the kind of thing, that would bring modern man to his down fall. You don't want sex, because.... it creates babies.... that require plastic bags, radon gas, nuclear power plants, and lead paint.... and thats... bad? Yes. You know it.

"The only person who understood how I felt was my first husband, who didn't want children either.

"We both passionately wanted to save the planet - not produce a new life which would only add to the problem."

Errrrr... "The only person who understood how I felt was my FIRST HUSBAND," yes kids, we men can agree, this bitch is a freak show. Dude ran while he could. But not before she spent 8 years finding a doctor who would get his cut on, to give a perfectly good women a hysterectomy. So its comical. I had to put it up. Because like I said, men respect the differences of opinion. We also notice the universal standards that preclude certain women from coitus. Excessive farting. Hairy armpits. Cat obsessions. Add to our list, men: eco-nazi.


.....


Since I'm on the kick. Eco Nutjobs Abound. Yes all shapes, and sexes. Not only was it not good enough for the earth that San Francisco eliminated plastic bags, bottled water, and Rice A Roni. Its now come to this.... Eliminate the FIREPLACES!!!! That should end global warming. Fireplaces in the Bay. Which, honestly, how fucking cold does it get there? On average, I bet it doesn't even approach freezing.... So how often do you crank up that old pile of Duraflame when its 78 degrees out? Yeah. Its a reaaaaal big problem I bet.

For The People Of The Sun

Here now, for the people of the sun....


I give to you. The. Gift. of. COMMENTS.

Many have bitched, but only few will care! For the longest time I have really dreaded letting comments appear on here... but we'll give it a go. Come New Years, I'll re-evaluate it. So for the time being there will be comment verification, [ie type the letter combinations it shows you to post it] to prevent bots... which had plagued me in other endeavors.

Secondly, I have enabled the email option as well... Now at the foot of every post you shall see a small email icon... if you click it, you to can give the gift of blog! Its a fancy way of just copying out the content in a fancy email, with non fancy typeset, but it works, fancy that! I've come to turn this feature on as well because so many people have been asking me for links or to write down links to this here mess, that I've decided this is much easier. Plus, if something is particularly amusing, ahem, Electrical Department, you could email it to yourself to make it print out in a cleaner fashion.

Yes, I'm mighty amused with myself. And also brimming with smarm..... I do need to make a quick plug for ScribeFire. Its fan-fucking-tastic. Its a great firefox add on that gives you considerably more control over editing and posting and allows for full integration to Blogger. How so? Right Click mutha trucka, RIGHT CLICK. How awesome is that? Also it gives me an immediate spell check, that yields the familiar red wiggly line under most of my typing. Nifty. Try it, its free, its ScribeFire [known previously as Performancing, which I also had installed], and its only for Firefox browsers.


///Out

Que the music...

{ Frank Sinatra -- Strangers In The Night }


Eau Claire, WI.

So... with Thanksgiving just a week away, that can only mean one thing.... shopping! Wait... its got to mean another thing.... cooking! Dammit... It means I end up in Eau Claire for two days. Yeah, thats what it means.

It means... I get crammed into a 30 year old aircraft, shuttled like a cow at IBP into a dank facility, surrounded by blue shirted corporate cheerleaders for 2 days. It, by default, means I stand in front of vendors telling them about their products more than they can tell me about them, for hours at a time, until midnight. Thats when we are finally allowed to sleep, in a hotel, across town, with a stranger. Yes Frankie, "love was just a glance away." Then, after clutching my asshole in fear all night, I'm run out of bed, in the dark, before 5am, to go right back to the compound, fetch my allotted single donut, to start it all over again... and when its decided... when the peace has been brokered. We're herded on to school buses again, and like hostages we're driven to the tarmac and escorted on to waiting planes. And only when I see Eau Claire from the air, do I know thats its ended. Another year in the books. I have survived.

In other news... I picked up the new Eagles cd... Long Road Out of Eden. On several levels I'm perplexed about it. First, that they decided to do a new album. Second, that they have decided there will be nothing after this one. Third, that they eventually always end up doing what they say they won't do. Fourth, how country this has returned for them. In all honesty, they started as a country music backer band for Linda Ronstadt. Yes, they did, check it out for yourself. But when I say that they were going to play the Country Music Awards this year, I thought "why." Now, I know. Don't get me wrong, there are some stand out songs on here, that are decidedly not country... and that would blend in well with one of those mid 70's albums.... but its a lot of country [ahem] inspired parts.--- more so than I was expecting. Obviously Joe Walsh didn't get to write a lot of this. But its good. Not great. Not best ever. Not even the Eagles best. But its good. The fifth thing that bugs me about it, [thought I was done?] is the release. Its a Walmart only!!! They have restricted the rights to them for one year before they let other retailers distribute it out. Plus, its also only available as a double cd set. The good part is, it was only 12 bucks. The bad part is, I know this isn't going to be the actual release... too many tracks, different tracks, and the obvious second disc is really making me think this. But. Do get it if you are a fan, or just never realized how many Eagles songs you like.

-----That time is past, And all its aching joys are now no more, And all its dizzy raptures. Not for this Faint I, nor mourn nor murmur, other gifts Have followed; for such loss, I would believe, Abundant recompence.---
Wodsworths' 'Tintern Abbey'




A Sad Farewell.... Dearest RonRon.



Im serious here people... I have great sadness in my heart today, knowing we have but only a few short weeks to hold with our Dearest Councilmen Ron Van Fossen. RonRon, as we've come to call him, is nothing short of the nuts de squirrel turd that has become the current incarnation of the Davenport City Council. Together, with brethren; such as Keith Meyer [who wanders the streets at night, and picks fights with kids at skate parks, he sues the City ; he represents when he jeopardizes its development, and of course... sings racially inappropriate songs at Council meetings to our more ethnic Councilmen]; Jamie "gets my son hired at the city, to end up with him fired over assault charges" Howard, Bob "No Pizza, but brings home the DUI-Y" McGivern, so to say this group is disfunctional is to say that Daffy Duck, isn't quite looney tunes enough to run with Fud, Bugs and the crew. Its down right comical. Shameful. But fucking comical. This is the Council that wants to fire the city administrator, then fully supports him, then doesn't, [whom of course, elected to give himself some pay hikes, creates a healthy work environment with some good sexual harrasment ], created a new fee taxing you for the amount of property you have that collects rain water, for putting up those nice speed trap cameras to make money for the city, and gave us the bridge to nothing. [Or is it just a target?, or just THE place to get your sex on with a 13 year old?] So what, its also the town where the county attorney gets his law license yanked. And who takes a civil case against his own office, in a case he helped prosecute. But does any of that matter without THE Man?

But without RonRon, this is nothing. Where do we even start? He is arguably, most famous for being arrested, held in county jail cell yards from where his seat sits empty at a council meeting, or his prior arrest where he comes after his estranged wife, a member of the City of Davenport DUI club, stumps his own case from substance abuse facilities, or for knowing a thing or two about sexual harassment himself, or who knows when to drop to a knee and take a heart attack to avoid court dates, or can just plain be in contempt of court. RonRon can represent with the best of them. But now, his term is going to expire... and barring any gruesome murders, flagrant shows of genitals to school girls, or gay-governor type flips; it is very possible we have heard the best of RonRon. And really, that rap sheet runs like a greatest hits cd. That shit just doesn't stop. Off the hook yo'! RonRon4Real. RonRon runnin' over yo ass.


Damn I'm going to miss you RonRon. So let me pour out my 40 in your honor, you sir, are the Original G.



-----// out

so its been almost two months. i dont have reasons, just excuses people. im lazy. its been a bit stressful. im feeling my mortality of late. and then there is...

. my grandmother. we made the move this week. we, somewhat, against her will, decided to move her in to a "retirement community". she wont hear of anything to do with a nursing home. but it was time. we think we've noticed her slipping mentally on somethings more than we are comfortable about; but more importantly, she cant take care of the house she was in. shes been there for 40 years. naturally, its going to take a delicate line to make that decision. but honestly, between my parents and i, we take care of everything at that place. she doesn't drive any more, and her mobility is somewhat hampered, but at 88 whose isnt? so we did it on tuesday. we loaded it all up and moved it for her. it was alot. a hell of alot. but, its 40 years of accumulation in a 2 bedroom house, with a full basement, and a garage, used by one person. were still doing car loads of things everyday it seems like, but its 90% done. today i spent the afternoon shampooing carpets and wiping down walls and ceilings. its humbling. this is the only place i know my grandmother ever being at. this IS grandma's house. just not anymore. its not a huge deal to me; my mother should have a harder time with it; but i think we all realize this is for the better. the house is in great shape, in a quiet neighborhood, and now that shes in a place where shes comfortable and happy and around alot of her friends, this is the thing to do. so. there is that.

. there is also work. last week was bad. stress has been building up behind my eyes about that place, and how everyone just leaves everything for me to deal with. i get no lee-way on anything. little to no authority, except on my weekends. and most importantly, i get no respect. then one person complains loudly about me. to the wrong people. it kept getting dragged on further and further, until they pulled me in before i went home and busted me with a week long suspension. unpaid of course. am i comfortable talking about it? no. not knowing that place. but i was ok with it. yeah, loosing the money is going to hurt. but long-term, the week off was nice. i needed to get out of there. they need to see what goes on if im not there, and maybe i get that ounce of respect when i go back in tomorrow. maybe not. it probably was a jam-job to rip me for that. everyone has been calling and emailing me from there checking in on me, telling me how it was lame, but deep down, thats how they want it to go down. i appreciate everyone's calls and pokes and such. im down. im not out. besides, i spent the week sending out resume's and applying elsewhere. so who benefits from this more? heh. me. maybe not. its a black mark. i dont care for it. ive never had that happen before. and yeah, i really felt jammed up on this, and that its not fair. but thats it. starting tomorrow, were past it. i hope. so there is also that.

. and that sense of mortality. ive had to sit through a pair of weddings in the past month. im burnt out on being the single guy. im putting it out there. i tried my ass off for about 2 months to find a date to anything, and got nothing. now its onto the baby round. seems like 304 people are pregnant right now, so thats the next stage. as much as i might have whined about it over the years. i feel my mortality. i know ive got maaaaybe 20 descent years left in me. with the history of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer in my family, i should tell myself, "ive got all the time in the world" because i dont. im sticking to my thoughts from about a year ago though, for anyone keeping score: im pretty well done with women. i dont have alot else to gain anymore. i dont really care about bringing home a different girl each [or several times per] night. i do, at times, feel like i left my best chances in my past, but i did about everything anyone could to make something work. im not troubled by it now. i just want to move on. get something done. do something for myself next. make money. get an important job. do something important or gain some 30 second notoriety for something i do right. then kick back and kick out to people. do things for people. but i want to prove to myself i can do something. that im not this single digit strike out at most of everything i tried. so far, its relationships, children, income, and career that are all strike outs. so there was also that on my mind.

. and it all kind of sums to nothing in the end. just alot of empty thoughts that rattle around. its just alot on my mind, and hopefully, people realize, its something i handle privately. i dont make phone calls about it. i dont talk to people about it. i dont make excuses. i dont want to hear about my own self and issues. but i know some of you are interested in it. so, i knew i was 60 days over due. so im back.