well.... sometimes i wonder to myself about the world. isnt it easy to think that there is some kind of chaotic order to it all? maybe its karma. maybe its luck. maybe its a big bearded god in the sky. but if its so. dont you just wonder when sometimes that luck might be skipping on people. not off. but on. like that people get too lucky. i have a cousin in a near-by state who, was diagnosed near bith with failing kidneys. shes on dialysis 3 times per week. with several surgical procedures, and a lifetime of medication and treatment, shes lucky to still be alive. alive enough to be put on a state organ transplant list. and shes waited. thursday she got the call that in peoria, they might very well have a match waiting. 5 minutes later; they confirmed it. they drove immediately and prep'ed her, and did a kidney transplant from a cadaver. a heartfelt story indeed. as my aunt called me to tell me on the phone tonight.

but luck skips on people. the cousin we remember... most definietly went through that ordeal, but since the age of 14 or so, shes been out of control. fights her parents. runs off. started drinking heavily and doing drugs. im not certain she made it much to high school. and i dont remember whether or not shes got a G.E.D. or not. but she has a kid. or two. its hard to remember. and shes about my age. the kid alone could have killed her, the one half functioning kidney was overloaded on her, let alone supporting a child. ofcourse the father is nonexistent from what i know. but i know her to be a drunk, lawless, habitual drug user. so much so, i know her case was reviewed by the state transplant board. you only come off that for two reasons folks. either you dont need an organ. or the state decides, you arent worth one anymore.

so she got her kidney. had her surgery. and were all supposed to bask in the glow. just left me wondering about how life, luck, karma, universal order, magic, voodoo, etc. seems to click and keep clicking for some people. i thought i was lucky that i could ever learn to walk as a child after what i went through. and i took advantage of that. i was active. i played sports. i adapted. i made good on what people and doctors did for me almost 25 years ago. sure; im not a major-leaguer. but i gave it a shot. even mornings now when i get up, and i have to physically straighten out my joints; im still glad i did what i could. even happy that i can walk. and i wonder an awful lot about people whom seem never to acknowledge how lucky they are. cute story. yeah.