On the radio dial

I haven't had much time lately to post.  I think the last time I really sat down and tried to write was around the time my friend Jennifer died.  Its not that it overtook me with grief; but it was a mixed emotion.  Between working two jobs and Wrangler; there just isn't a ton of time left in my days.  But, thinking back about things; its too short not to make some time for these things too. 

I've been flirting with the idea of running my own podcasts for awhile now.  While I'd love to do just a hardcore social science show; its not going to happen.   While I'd love to do a Walking Dead cast; its maybe going to happen.  But maybe I really need to just go off and do my own show about me. That could probably happen.  We have been running with Far Afield for a awhile now [find it on iTunes, or Stitcher its free!] but maybe its time I move off and do my own thing.  They are my friends and will continue to be; but I think maybe I need the freedom to call my own shots on things. 

For a bit of back story; I never had any intention of doing podcasts, even though I've been an avid listener. Its a time commitment and a content commitment I didn't think I had a drive to accomplish.  Couple those things with my newspaper friendly voice and it fast become a no win situation.  So after coming on as a guest, and getting Far Afield going; I recognize how hard it is to make things happen.  I used to laugh when I saw radio people change shows and networks and still have the same basic show after the jump; I used to think it was only about money... Now I see the creative control thing is just about as important as the money. Which, doesn't seem apparent when its the same exact show for the listener; but how things get to that point makes all the difference.   Anyhow, moving forward a bit, the network the show is on is struggling with its own identity; enough so they are branching out to a video form as well live streaming to twitch and youtube.  Its going to create friction.  Our show is largely a sit back and listen type program; doing live video streams requires even more planning and preparation to pull it off; and I'm just not certain our show and to an extent, our network is ready for that.  We have had conversations as a show in the past about sponsorships and show direction; and its never really gotten very far.  Its not gotten very far, but I think we all realize where its going. 

As a fan, I like to sit back and watch Dave and Darren at NachoRadio.com be the good example.  These were a highly rated FM radio morning show duo who ran for 10 years; even being bumped frequencies through buyouts and mergers, still kept the show the same and profitable.  In the end, they were axed for more mergers to take place... they sat out their 90 day non competes, then started their own network and have blow up ever since.  I'm not looking to take that route; but I can see how it changed how they addressed certain ideas behind the scenes. And it whets my whistle a bit.

I'm not going to say conversations haven't happened between myself and other networks, but I'm not sure if I have the commitment and time to move forward with anything.  But its nice to think about it.  And its real nice knowing I'd have more freedom to do certain things... and yeah; supplementing my income by being able to market the show isn't awful either!  Well all see what comes to pass soon enough!

Looking Forward

 

Its not very often that even I come to a loss of words.  I had every intention of sitting down to hammer out a blog post about the last year of my life.  About changing jobs suddenly, about being unemployed, about worrying for money… how Wrangler has been, how my family is to me… reconciling the ghosts of girls past…  I figured maybe it was time to look forward with one descent look back.  May 14th was the day I was officially ousted from Menards after all.  True May Day spirit. Yet life gets in the way sometimes.

Then a few weeks ago I ran into a friend of mine from school.  Wrangler and I were out walking, and saw a blonde woman with a child and two dogs on leashes; I opted to cross the street and keep Wrangler moving… but by the time he and I got to the middle of the street, a soft voice called out to me.  I recognized the her before I looked up.  JH was probably the happiest, outgoing person I’d ever met.  She hadn’t changed a bit since Kindergarten.  Off and on after high school I’d hear from her, or see her best friend on campus at Iowa [JH was a defector and went to Iowa State].  After a while, I noticed she’d gotten married, picked up two Jack Russell’s and then had a son.  Life was pretty dandy.  I lost track of her for 3 to 4 years; and then I ended up on the same street corner with her.

We talked for a few minutes about things; I looked every part the homeless veteran… my beard was long enough to tuck in my shirt collar, wearing a rumpled fatigue jacket; and she was the light of the world, if I didn’t know any better.  Tall, blonde, thin, gorgeous in every way.  Her son was interested in Wrangler; and Wrangler doesn’t mind attention.  But after about 5 minutes we both knew we had to keep moving on… dogs don’t sit idle on walks you know. We exchanged email, remarked how crazy it was to run into each other like this [being blocks away from where we grew up].

I marked it off to chance.  Then marked my chances off. I look like a hobo.  I’ve put weight back on I took years to take off.  I don’t have much left over income after the bills send out, and even my dog can look pitiful with his eye we cant afford to have surgery for.  In the follow days we sent several emails back and forth; and yes, I even got her phone number.  She filled me in that she was divorced now, looking to start over and was finishing dental hygienist school.  We both thought dinner would be a great idea.  Unfortunately that’s as far as it got.  Working two jobs is impossible to have a social life.  Having a dog that demand attention makes it worse.  In the 3 weeks since then, I was trying to clear things out to find a Wednesday night this week to meet up.  Then I read Facebook this morning.  Her best friend noted JH died this morning. I didn’t know what to say.

I took Wrangler out on our walk this morning; the same Sunday morning walk we had a month ago where I met her.  We stopped at the same spot and looked around.  I knew better than to expect it to be a sick joke. But we paused one last time to look back, before looking forward.   I guess that’s how its supposed to be. 

I have no idea what happened.  I have the impression this was a known issue, as several comments mentioned seeing her in the hospital recently; but she never mentioned anything to me.  In fact, I’d think she was closer to a long and healthy life than I would be.  But that’s it.  Things aren’t what you want them to be when you look at it like that.  Life is about getting out there for the moment and not about putting things off.  Looking back at my life this past year, its been quiet and desolate on many fronts.  Humbling is a better choice of words.  But I’m still looking forward to whatever it is that happens. I just wish JH could see it too.

 

S

The Dirtiest Words of An American Judicial System

The dirtiest words of an American judicial system are simple:

"Jury Summons"


It means I'm sitting at the courthouse at 8:00 am on monday morning, instead of drinking my coffee bitching about how slow the first 2 hours of my work day have been; I'll be crammed in the kennel with the masses of the general public, vying for my opportunity to get out of determining the guilt of some sap who got caught.

I'm not thrilled about it.

When the whole career change happened abruptly this past May, I actually walked into the courthouse and asked for jury duty.  The look on the face of the poor woman at the clerk's office was priceless, "you can't do that."   I tried to explain it.  No use.

Its not that I have a desire to be excluded from civic duties; its just that I know I cant afford to miss 2 weeks over someone's red light camera protest.... or 5 days of closing arguments about underage porn... or 4 months of determining whom really defrauded some pensioner's union....   While I was unemployed, I readily accepted the task.  Now, 9 months later, they come back and put me in the same position that everyone else is in; except they just don't want to do it.  I do--- I just cant afford to.

Either way, after reading the red print, nothing that I am required to appear, and that failure to appear can result, in yellow text, "in court action," I know where I'm stuck tomorrow morning.

/sigh/

S.