Saturday, January 08, 2005

could this be it????

my true calling in life???

to go to south africa...

and.

PROSPER?!?!?!?!

read the story.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Current Musical Selection: Anthrax - Metal Thrashing Mad [2004]

god i didnt miss work. a week off wasnt really long enough. it just started. and the shit parade just cascaded all day. dumb ass people. unreasonable demands. and then i could say something about our customers. rediculous. im damned if i do, and damned that i didnt. its not enough that i out pace everyone by miles in sales.... it aint enough that i make that place run. now i get nasty shit from corporate how the department CIPS scores are terrible. how warranty sales are bad. how camera sales were slower than anticipated. how shredders arent selling well. it was one thing after another. i got sick of reading all the mail in my box at work. just because of it. not one shred of decency for me. just more shit. i didnt miss it. i guess i missed some of my coworkers. maybe.

i was superstoked to read my email this evening... charlie wrote a new diary entry online [the drummer from anthrax] guess what? the 'thrax is playing a benefit show in chicago in february for Dime. with Soil. with Disturbed. fuck. that should be some time. downside is its a wednesday night. what the fuck is that? wednesday night is not very metal. ill see what i can do about hitting it up. anyone thats interested should give me a call.

i managed not to get a damn thing done all vacation long. laundry i guess counts. but not really. nothing done with my class. i really should do that. atleast before the other one starts up in a couple weeks now. hard to believe its 2005 now. just goes so fast. really. i swore it was 2003 just a couple weeks ago. so much changes. so much comes and goes. sad really. that the years are already starting to blend together. so... in no particular order; its something i call...

____ of 2004.

best new beer i sampled - big butte. fuck. atleast it sounded funny.

worst beer i got stuck with drinking
- that whole cooler full ... all of them were bad. but i made it through like 60 cans in 30 days. because ill be damned if i was going to move that shit to my new house.

best band i 'discovered' - tough call.. Dark Tranquility.

worst band of memory - fucking retarded ass Nightwish.

dumbest thing i did - fix that sink on dodge street at like 1am. went to brush my teeth before bed, on a cold snowy night. found it wouldnt drain. so i start taking shit apart. find myself in a pile of parts, drain-o pool, and rotting wet hair clogs at 4am... cant get it to re-assemble. take the sink out of the vanity. dismantle everything from the wall outwards. 6am i get it back together. it leaks. 7:30 am i walk 10 blocks in the snow and ice [car was plowed in] to a hardware store to get new 72 cent rubber seal. struggle home by 10am. sink is working leak free by 11am... just 9 hours later than it should have.

most proud achievement of the year - paid off 2 credit cards, with no help. i set myself on a payment schedule... starved myself when necessary. imposed my $10 fee for buying shit i didnt need. and now im on my way to be credit card debt free this year. for ever and ever i hope.

most meaningful experience of the year - honestly... it was the car ride back from Mason City with justin o. after the machine head concert, and aised from meeting Flynn and Deuce, we we fucking talked like women! but, you know ive got alot more respect for him and we understand alot about each other now. hes one of those friends i never had, we have seriously like 10 shared friends since jr high; but somehow we never met till Staples.

dumbest fashion trend - those fucking poncho's on girls. seriously. they are shit ugly colors. feel like a sweater. and so mishsapen they are worthless.. Clint Eastwood is calling you punks out. pink tshirts for guys. nothing says homo quite like a pink nike tshirt. Nike, what is so masculine about that rapper in a pink shirt with womens stocking on his head?

best sports victory - the red sox. winning the AL Pennant. the world series was cake on tits.. but fucking the yankees in the ass like that... wooot

biggest regret - not calling back vivian that night she drunk dialed me... turns out there were 2 other drunk and horny girls with her... its still painful.

next biggest regret - paying 13 dollars at Applebees for that minescule undercooked chicken breast and tortilla cut into 3 peices. didnt even get lettuce or salsa with it. even andrea said she could have eaten more than that.

... and the next biggest regret - not going to see Damage Plan with Coach in chicago. not even two weeks later, Dimebag gets killed on stage and now ill have to settle for having seen Pantera play once, for 20 minutes, like 8 years ago.

healthiest thing i did - so since i dont booze much, and i dont smoke... ive tried to stop drinking soda. im still working on it. but ive limited myself to one can a day, or under. a max of one 24 can case per month. its hard. mt dew is still a guilty vice some afternoons.

best advice i gave someone - some random girl i met at the library one night. i was walking out the door at midnight, and she was sitting on the curb crying her eyes out. i kept walking. i had to get up at 5am. but i stopped, turned around, went back and sat next to her. i listened to her for an hour about how she was breaking up with her boyfriend some tiny iowa farm town, and how she felt alone, and had her heartbroken "for life" she wasnt even 18 yet. so i talked to her for 10 minutes. and she stopped crying. smiled. started laughing. and said she felt better. and ive never seen her since.

best comeback i had all year - i said it before Alan Shore did on Boston Legal!!! one manager got in a play-fight with me.. and i told her as she was trying to walk away victorious.. "why dont you just go search in your office for the next hour for the witty comeback you wanted to use right now" she about died. she just started shaking her head. she had NOTHING to come back with.

most pathetic attempt at attention - janet jackson and her nipple. closely followed by britneys marriages.. but primarily marriage #1. possibly michael jacksons mugshot with the "im a coy childmolestor grin" or maybe even the university trying to ebay the scoreboard at kinnick stadium for money... guess no pawnshop would take it.

funniest wager of the year - kyle betting that clark couldnt go a month without sex. we were going to start an online pool with friends all over the country. but clark couldnt make it a full week before he lost. clarks revenge was betting kyle that he couldnt score in a month's time. and for some reason no one took that serious.

friends trend of the year - getting engaged/married. seriously... you people are my friends and all.... but fucking stop it already!

funniest joke i heard - "who is the RBI leader on the Blue Jays this year? --- WHO FUCKING CARES, THE BLUE JAYS ARE TERRIBLE"

funniest inside joke - jimmy bought bunnies. heh. "jimmy and the bunnies"

best picture i took - maybe the one of the eagle-statue with the spyder in its mouth, that had covered it in cobwebs. or one of Jwr doing the apple trick... i still laugh looking at that one.

hottest girl i saw - that one chick at the green room. on like a thursday night in february. i stopped to see a friends band, and she was all retro punkish dressed up. with like those big pink kids sunglasses with smoke lenses in them... strawberry shortcake ones i recall. anyhows.. she had red and blonde streaked hair... huge rack. but was scrawny, wearing a lacey red brasier and some ultra micro black vinyl skirt and ho neon green fishnets. she didnt wear shit under that skirt! [ill say she had no fear of razor burn.. and i leave it at that]

angriest i got all year - nearly hitting a fucking pack of deer at like 1am one rainy night... i slid off the road. i got out. took out my trench shovel and chased three deer across a farm field, screaming the whole way. i ended up wet and muddy up to my knees, with no deer killed.

most scared i was all year - in that field with three ton-wieght buffalo running me down. for about 3 minutes, i was kinda worried if i was going to make it back to the car... or if the car would stop them. this car of old people were even screaming at me. fun shit tho.

worst pickup line i attempted - during the Battle i mc'd; my voice was trashed, i was tired, been drinking all night, and at 1am i asked these two cute girls that had been smilling at me and following me; "if youre 18, we can go fuck in the bathroom; its ok to do that at a metal show." they both kinda looked down and got all nervous. i laughed... made some excuse, and told them it was a joke.. the bartender and i laughed. the one gave a puzzled look, the other said "it was a.. joke?" then i asked when their parents were coming to pick them up. the one said; "in about 10 minutes" they really were like 15 i bet.

most rewarding moment - shutting down an old friend from high school, when she brought up an random IM rant about some Hemmingway passage. she always thought that i never read "great" litterature, but i proved i read it better than she did.

biggest secret i kept all last year - that one weekend when everyone was at my place right before school started, rabbit and i were drunk and ended up in bed together. no sex occured! we had fun, we laughed and we talked, we listened to matt barf up his guts all night long, beligerently moaning complaints about drinking to andrea. the next day steph went out of her way to come back and talk to me and we had an awkward conversation about what happened. and i felt really guilty about how i didnt handle that situation correctly. i know i could have had a closer friend out of the deal. but i didnt say anything to her. and now like year and a half later we dont even talk really. so i never really told any one about what happened. besides. everyone just would have presumed we screwed. so it wasnt even worth bringing up.

worst mistake i made at work - being nice and putting a typewritter ribbon in for an old man. i typed on it. it worked. we both laughed. he left. he called and bitched a week later that i did it wrong and then somehow broke his typewritter; despite it working for week [at his own admission]. he bitched. and he bitched. and he swore at me. and demanded a new fucking typewritter for free. that 3 dollar ribbon, eventually cost my store like 200 bucks. they gave him credit for a new typewritter, paper, and several ribbons. although i did nothing wrong; i now refuse to help customers like that because of that mistake.


..... so what do i look forward to in 2005?


. ill graduate. FINALLY.

. ill get a job. because ill have to pay for said college.

. i WILL NOT put in typewritter ribbons. all aarp members can eat my shit.

. ill have to sit through more weddings for my friends. maybe even babysit for them.

. i will never be seen at a Nightwish concert.

. i wont let andrea tell us to buy so much Beast Ice next time.

. i will talk to people about things, instead of saying nothing, starting with Rabbit.

. i wont chase buffalo... and ill be more selective about chasing deer.

. i wont hold these "marriage" things against Britney Spears when shes all teary eyed and knocking at my door some night.

. i will remember that ebay kept my alma mater afloat. barely.

. i will call in sick at work to see that metal show, 6 hours away or not.

. maybe ill realize i need to stop deluding myself. i am single. hopelessly. and maybe ill stop being angry about it; and just take it as it is...

. ill try to find a way to get Ronnie James Dio to autograph something for me.

. andrea and i can never let coach get "... this drunk ever. *barf* again"

. i will travel more. i want to. i want to go to a state in the country out west. and i want to camp out under the stars. and i dont think a hotel will count.

. i vow to take more and better pictures. of real eagles. dead ones even. but just more in general. to have something to remember my years by.

. ill give diet soda a try. its going to be hard.

. if i ever see that girl at the library again; ill ask her if her heart is still broken. if i see that girl at the Green Room again; ill ask her if she shaves with the grain or against.

. i wont make lude comments to 15 year old girls. i know jwr. this is makes you sad. 16 year olds are fair game.!

. ill stop talking about 'Jimmy and the bunnies'. i will use more office humor relating to, but not limited to 'Pig Benis', 'how is the treadmill TJ?, 'i should go as Bike Guy for halloween', and "like shane says 'i would ravage any butthole '"

. ill bet on kyle to win. if it ever happens.

. i resolve to only eat at the following places, with fruity shit on the walls; Chili's, Bennigans, TGI Fridays, Fudruckers, Cheddars. since there is such a shortage of places like this, i must reserve my attention to only the best.

. i will force an attempt not to criticize fashionably hip wears in public.... for several minutes.... or will try, in earnest, to dislodge my rants before they occur in me being asked to leave JC Pennys again.

. i will make someone else my slave on a trip back from mason city, and force the to listen to me, and see if i can make them a friend for life too.

. in all... i just am going to try hard to make 2005 memorable for me. one of my last few years, i can claim being young anymore. and when i turn 24 on january 6th; i will know that i am now closer to being 30 years old, than i will ever be closer to being in high school anymore. i hope a job i get wont suck too much. or it pays well. and maybe ill figure some other things out along the way.


----//s.//----