Tuesday, April 29, 2008

... Hitting The Medicine Cabinet Again

well it seems like it lately, but generally i find it pretty easy to avoid the doctor's office. as i learned today, it had been slightly more than 10 years since i had seen my GP. so why this joyous occasion? it has to do with a certain propensity of 'blue to dump ass loads of freight in places they don't belong. in short, i pretty much threw my lower back out lifting heavy shit that was left on the floor. from the floor, picked up, walked up a ladder, then put on a shelf above head height. x 50. thats probably what did me in. anyhow. i went from numbness, to discomfort, to grid lock in about 6 hours. thinking that it was just general soreness; i went to bed. shoes on my feet! [because i cant bend over to untie them] to wake up WORSE than i was. somehow sleep aggravated my condition. quite plainly; it took 20 minutes for me to sit up in bed this morning. i just couldn't move my back. when i did, it was like ramming a steak knife in my hip. charming. after tears of pain, and enough frustration; i called into work. this is a big deal. keep in mind; i didn't call in when i had pneumonia. i didn't call in when i dislocated my knee. and i didn't call in when i thought i had broken my fingers. i called in to say id be late. "NO YOU WONT, NOT WITHOUT A DOCTORS NOTICE" then the inevitable ..click.. so i started calling around two hours later. my best choice was to wait around at the doctors office to see if they could fit me in--- all appointments are full for the day. so i sat there for two hours, in moderate discomfort watching the elderly fart past me, and the hypochondriacs get their fillls in for the week. here i sat, mostly able bodied, wanting to work, but not allowed until Moses and his wife cleared out first. eventually they saw me, took my history, then came back to tell me that any workplace injuries had to be seen by the employer's insured facility. so back in the car, limping and stiff walked i go; i drive across town. to find [of course] the facility has moved. another 20 minutes later, after my parents found out where over the phone for me, i was on my way. to sit in another lobby for an hour before i could be seen. where i also was lucky enough to get a female doctor, who had a sense of humor. the first thing she said was, "why dont you go ahead and strip down for me so we can get a look here" i laughed and told her that was the first time in 4 or 5 years a woman said that to me. she didnt laugh at first. i knew i was dealing with a tough crowd. to spare us the rest of the details; without getting an MRI [is that some new STD they came up with Doc?], they couldn't tell if its a muscle strain or partial tear. no matter. Old Blue will probably just pay for the duct tape to patch it over, or the bullet to end it all; with our insurance. so they offered me some wonderful candies i have not yet sampled before today. [a parting gift, but i thought i solved the puzzle Doc]. add naproxen and metaxalone to the list of drugs ive been on; for those keeping score at home. its some kind of higher grade Aleve and "moderate to strong" muscle relaxant. 5 hours later, im 3 and 3 pills in; and i think i was better off with ice packs and that old tube of Flexall i still had. oh well. the drugs were free. and isnt that what its about; doping us up to infinity with out paying out of pocket! cheers fuckers! and sorry if that saw blade now costs .13 cents more; its because of my new drugs! and the epilogue to my tale of sadness; i also am privileged to receive a follow up visit as well as three therapy sessions before im released to normal duties. because that wont be like pulling teeth to get to. as it was, i went unpaid for the day to day to go through all of this. just another day at the fun farm.