got your head out of the clouds... back down on the ground.... and you dont talk so loud. now you dont walk so proud. anymore. and what for?

well i got the latin exam back. 80. i was hoping for something a bit higher than that. i lost like 13 points on my cakeass translation. or so i thought it was. bitchy stuff. 2 points for a verb not staying passive. 1 point for mashed tenses. 1 for this. 3 for that. 1 for something. 2 for nothing. but it read well. it was good english. it took no liberties. and it was about as litteral as it could be to still support the well constructed english without liberties. but i guess perfection is the name of it all. not a name that was familiar to me on that day.

without you........... i knew the storm was getting closer. and then all my friends said i was high. but everyone weve ever known is here. i never wanted that to die...

interesting week. i spent it talking more than i should have. its stupid of me. i chatter away to people like it matters. like my stupid comments mean something.. like someone cares what i say. like what i say has some importance. .. . i just kept on doing it. its a nervous thing maybe. maybe its just my way of being excited. regardless. they talk, i listen. i talk, they wont listen. sometimes its not the message. its the medium. i suppose im as dumb as anyone else. or just as naive to think i am like anyone else. maybe all along i was right. the ruin comes on in phases; not at once. there isnt any magical wooden horse to bring inside the city walls to signify the end of Troy as we know it. instead. its just my ramblings. because i lack the semblance of mind to shut my mouth. no wonder im desparate. i attack anything like its a last chance.... and in doing so... maybe i make it out to be that way... maybe my last chance never happened. and im sitting here bemoaning something i was never going to get. that would make alot more sense. instead of me talking so much. talking my way past the cold thoughts of the realness of my situation. so much goes past us with out thought. yet, when thsoe moments counts. i try to pass over the thoughts. sucessful or not. its an attempt. its a pass. and it fails. i suppose i always did fail. to lesser degrees or greater. ive always lost when it came to that. born the looser. destined to watch the winners. thats what destitute means. thats what it means to be an idiot and squander whatever i have. its just an invitation to forever. the signature of the fates. and other cliches i ought best leave un-stated. being a cute boy wold be easier. having a talent would make it simpler. money couldnt make it worse. but i have none of those. i have just myself. just my thoughts. and i have no doubts why its just me at the end of every day. i have myself because no one else would have me. and i guess that leaves myself for myself. alone from me, but never more alone than any person could ever be with themselves. destitute doesnt cover it. and neither do disenfranchised ramblings.

.

well; ill find out monday... or probably wednesday... but i felt ok about the latin exam. the last couple quizes that i didnt do so well on; i felt like i didnt know parts of them going out the door. just as i took them, i knew, that i didnt know it. some stuff looked like id never seen it before. and i couldnt figure out any of the meter patterns. well. this time around. i knew all the meter patterns [even did the section i didnt have to!], and the TA said i did "markedly better" than on my quizes of late. as far as the translations sections i dunno. the prepared one didnt quite make good english, but i stayed with the litteral. and the sight passage was actually familiar to me. which, i guess isnt fair for everyone else, but ive read it somewhere before. so i feel ok about it. im not saying i got an A on it. but i passed it. i had to have. and that makes me feel much better. i spent from 5:30ish to 9pm studying for it. then took an hour break, then kept at it till i fell asleep on the couch at 1am. so maybe the cram session paid off for once.

other than that. this is the first weekend ive had off from work in 4 weeks. its not fair. i never get 2 days in a row off anymore. and im always working atleast part of the weekend. and ive had to spend this one playing catch up in my soc class. with luck, ill have my paper to turn in monday. 1 of 6. sigh. progress is still progress.