This is great. Really great. See, all this time, I have always heard about the ugly girls... or the fat girls.... or the strange girls that make cat noises during class, with stickers of cats on their gear... make these kinds of remarks, but never for the opposite side of the coin? What is it. Why sexing it up, of course. See ugly girls or fat girls often times make excuses for why the 90% middle norm of males in their age bracket, would not put theirs, their buddy's, or a simulated plastic penis into these girls hooha regions. Excuses commonly heard; "I'm waiting for the right one." "I'm saving my self." "Sex doesn't mean anything to me." "Its not that good." "I'm busy eating burritos." See all these reasons exist for the pure reason of psychoanalyzing our fat and ugly selves out of the need for sex. Por que? Well Dr. Phil, they have to create a justification for why their friends get the sexy-times, and why they don't get the hands on experience of baby making. Its got to be justifiable and believable. So we help bolster our daughters, our friends, our sisters, and even sometimes the creepy lady at church, by agreeing with the logic. But yes, stuffing a burrito in the mouth does make it difficult. I digress. What has astounded me was the total absence of the inverse relation: namely, women TOO good for sex. We, as men, focus on making fun of women NOT good enough for sex, and often can't fathom the abyss that is: TOO good for sex. [Married readers keep the mouths shut here] See, we presume, rightly as men, that sex should always be an option. Unless you are that weirdo that talks about her 7 calico cats, who wears the cat sweatshirt to class, and makes cat noises. Those cases, and most fat girls, we abandon. Its survival. Its Darwin. We don't fuck with it. We fuck with all the rest of them! So here is why the women TOO good for sex make me laugh.
The Justifications. And yes, it even has a picture of a woman, mid 30s to early 40s who, is entirely hittable... given our list of exceptions at least [not 400 pounds, no burrito in mouth, no noticeable feline complex], she is as we say, fair game. But not so! Shes turned off to sex. How has she rationalized that? Its not eco friendly. Say what...
While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal.
"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.
Seriously. Its completely insane. This is the kind of thing, that would bring modern man to his down fall. You don't want sex, because.... it creates babies.... that require plastic bags, radon gas, nuclear power plants, and lead paint.... and thats... bad? Yes. You know it.
"The only person who understood how I felt was my first husband, who didn't want children either.
"We both passionately wanted to save the planet - not produce a new life which would only add to the problem."
Errrrr... "The only person who understood how I felt was my FIRST HUSBAND," yes kids, we men can agree, this bitch is a freak show. Dude ran while he could. But not before she spent 8 years finding a doctor who would get his cut on, to give a perfectly good women a hysterectomy. So its comical. I had to put it up. Because like I said, men respect the differences of opinion. We also notice the universal standards that preclude certain women from coitus. Excessive farting. Hairy armpits. Cat obsessions. Add to our list, men: eco-nazi.
.....
Since I'm on the kick.
Eco Nutjobs Abound. Yes all shapes, and sexes. Not only was it not good enough for the earth that San Francisco eliminated
plastic bags,
bottled water, and
Rice A Roni. Its now come to this.... Eliminate the FIREPLACES!!!! That should end global warming. Fireplaces in the Bay. Which, honestly, how fucking cold does it get there? On average, I bet it doesn't even approach freezing.... So how often do you crank up that old pile of Duraflame when its 78 degrees out? Yeah. Its a reaaaaal big problem I bet.
