Dear Everyone!

so in the ongoing saga of, "what the fuck else can go wrong", i present to you my newest entry. the pilonidal cyst. yes. such a fabulous name. its just to cover up the nastiness of the truth. its a localized infection and inflamation right around the tailbone. for me, its higher up; but for alot of people its right on the end of the ass crack. id noticed a bump for a while there, but never thought much of it. well two days ago it started to hurt. and yesterday, it hurt so bad i couldnt sit. if id bend forward in a chair, like how you would to tie a shoe or pick up a pen, it would hurt so bad i couldnt do it. plus the added comfort of it pinching the nerve in the back of my hips, that would make my left leg to numb if i placed too much pressure on the spot. sigh.

seriously, by the end of my 4 hours of driving on thursday, i was in so much pain i couldnt see straight if i was in a sitting position. so i went to the doctor. "strip bare, cover with the sheet and the doctor will see you shortly" sigh. story of my life. dr. boccuzzi decides in about 3 seconds what it is. reminds me that im in pain, and reminds me this is not going to feel good right away. so he tells me about it, how you get it, and the plan. the plan is to cut away the outer skin over the area to let the infection drain and the swelling to go down. then it means the 2 inch area, deflated of puss and shit, gets packed with gauze and taped out with dressing. it gets to be flushed twice a day, and changed. so before i can agree to it. hes got me stabbed with local anthestics and is going for it. then he starts fiddling with the scalpel. i stop him. "doc, i can feel that" oh. another round of locals. "i can still feel that too." oh. a third round, plus a 5 minute wait. then hes carving apart my backside. although it was numb, its quite a feeling having someone cut and saw apart your back. then the part where i almost blacked out. where they start putting pressure on it to drain it. the doctor thought it shouldnt be so bad. but apperantly the medication wasnt doing it for me. on a scale of 1 to 10. it was an 8. by the time they were satisfied with filling a pan full of dressings with shit. they decide... hmmm lets just not close the hole we cut either; instead well let you treat it this way, and repack it yourself until saturday when you can come back again. joy.

so on the way out i asked the doctor to prescribe me some pain medication, on top of the other shit. he joked about how big a glass of mmorphine id need to make it through. i reminded him that my pain threshold is fairly high, but my resistence to pain medication is higher. he looked at me. asked me what i meant. "well, i tend to take 350mg tabs of bayer, 3 or 4 at a time. if it hurts, i do that every hour until it works" his jaw dropped. now i have some prescription strength pure codine.

today i spent sleeping on my side and stomach because of the pain of moving my back in any position. id have to say, its fucking fantastic. sorry girls, but this has been the best time of my life in bed, without a doubt! im looking forward to finding out new ways to make my life miserable tomorrow at the doctors; when he decides if the infection is bad enough to go to a surgical procedure to remove more of my back tissue. fun! he also said as it stands now, i should expect "moderate discomfort" for the next 2 to 4 weeks in sitting and driving. if we go to surgery, we can double that! makes me want to buy a calendar to mark off each lovely day in paradise!!!

[signed] My Life Litteraly Fucking Cant Get Much Worse, and your Pal!

Scott