so... while my love life might be pathetic... would it get anyworse if i had my boss attempting to give me pointers? fuck.. it would. and it did.

i made the stupid assumption that id be safe to bring in one picture. one. some of these assholes at work have galleries of art... one lady has a shelf [which i use for manuals of copiers i sell for reference] filled with pictures in frames of her kids. so instead of having a more baren space than Vanillia Ice's trophy shelf; i decided to bring in one picture. its next to my instruction on how to get my voice mail [which still doesnt work]. a day later. knock knock. the boss comes patrolling around on the cube farm, and instead of asking me about acconts, or cold calls, or why i didnt dress in a 900 dollar suit; he pokes his finger and says, "who is that, your girlfriend?"

.... this is a delicate situation. i can take two roads to approach it. well three, the third being ignoring it. road one is the subtle explanation, road two is the total down play. i kinda ran between the forks in the road, and gave the subtle down play of the truth.

"no... not unless she decides to change her mind and tell me so"

.... see i thought this was a good move... i never looked up. and it seemed like a dead, brush off comment to state to move past the awkwardness of revealing personal experiences to the Gestapo.

"really... shes pretty man... you really like her then? what happened?"

.... this is now throwing lead baseballs at nuclear reactors. while, the practice is probably harmless... what kind of freaking idiot really thinks its a good idea to try it. now im stuck trying to field that question.

"i asked. she said no. ... yes i do really like her, and yeah i wish she didnt say no."

.... silence. this is the worst part. its like watching a horror flick with mute. while you wince at the gore, its really got no impact without the sound... in this case, its the lack of sound thats ugly and brutal. hes a salesman. im a salesman. we both know that who ever answers silence first, is the loser... so i mutter...

"i think shes just at that stage where she wants to have things her way and be able to do her own thing without any attachments; and im past that stage, so thats what happened i suppose"

.... no silence. he respondes.

"well [clasps hand on my shoulder, still looking at the picture] hang in there kid. give her time. man. she looks wild... is she? woo. just give her that time and shell come around" [then he leaves]

.... really this could have gone worse. i just dont know how. even my own boss thinks im incapable of closing a deal. and this time, its not about a copier. i feel pretty messed up, knowing that people twice my age are looking my pictures, and touching me while they do it. dirty. so very dirty. but the only lingering thought on my mind, is not that; but do i give his advice much credability? its difficult to answer that. so far, i think hes way off base making me cold call on 300 businesses for zero sales... maybe sitting and waiting for her to make a decision she might never want to make, isnt the best idea either. but its the only thing right now, thats really out of my control. that and people signing fat checks over to me for copiers.