Current Musical Selection: Britney Spears - Everytime

" and everytime i try to fly i fall without my wings.. i feel so small. i guess i need you "

well.. wayne said i did good. he had A scrawled on the page. but over all my presentation; worth massive multas puntas was entirely lost on all in the room. i got lots of nods and smiles for my data and research conclusions, all in support from the TA's and the professor.. the students? i did in fact witness 2 middle fingers. multiple frowns, and two people tried to leave early. most looked annoyed. god i hate this. why make me present research that no one else wants to hear? i lost them the moment i announced why i was involved in the 21 ordinance in the first place. yeah. i dunno. i wanted to pul it off, and have kids atleast appreciate it. no one applauded when i was finished. the girl who surveyed childrens books got applause. people were excited to hear the 19th survey on gender stereotypes in pop magazines. i got flipped off. silence gets to me. i spent better than 3 weeks on that half hour of work and nothing for it. no one saying; nice job. no comments about how it was atleast interesting. the best comment i got was "that was ________ intense... he should _______ off". makes me feel pretty bad about the entire deal. i kinda wonder why im doing this college thing, if this is whats required. what the fuck is the point of me getting up and barking off weeks worth of data and research if im only going to get middle fingers.

...

there was that split second where i thought it was going to come together. then the PC chokes on my thumbdrive. i run to the ITC to pull the file off. try to print it. printers are taken down for maintence. i take my shit. walk down the hall. pissed off now. kick open the graduate TA lab door see one person in the room; unplug her ethernet connection and print my shit; chop 9 slides, all transitions and most of my pictures to crunch down to 1.38megs to fit [barely] on a floppy. to go present to students that hate it. even the hot undergrad TA seemed falsely sympathetic.

i wish people would have liked it. or lied. i clapped for their crap. i asked them helpful, leading questions to help pad their grades. and i get the finger. to a statistical certainty. why am i here again? feeling generally worthless. i guess thats why.