Current Musical Selection: Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan - The Girl From The North Country

well.. im not as mad as i was earlier. its hard to stay angry with music like this. bob slows down his song and teams up with Cash sometime in 1969 to pull off the song. sounds very different. very comfortable. very relaxed. very sorrowful. i almost like it more than the original. if you want it, let me know... i will trade this mp3 as its never been published [officially] to my knowledge.

latin is stupid. it makes sense. and there are days i still enjoy it. but its hard to feel like i can enjoy it when i dump so much time into it for nothing; then just get beat down for missing a day here and there. bob doesnt realize what goes on in my life; or that i work more hours than he does. add job hours plus just inclass hours, and youve got near a 50 hour week. thats not counting the time for this unending outside of class crap. soc may still kill me yet 2 research projects due soon. 1 in about 3 weeks. another gets a month repreive. im more excited about the first one. lots of work to do, lots of things to get done. plus i have to present on it. im not sure really what im going to end up saying for 30 minutes about my work. that scares me. maybe ill know when i get it done.

well this is day 2 on this set of clothes... i fell asleep in them last night and never changed or showered. i feel gross. but its comfortable and warm atleast. tomorrow i really need to shower. sleep would be nice. but its going to be in short supply for a few weeks more. i slept about 4 hours last night... maybe as much tonight. hopefully more tomorrow night. but well see. bless those who get the sleep they deserve. it is a luxury God has not afforded me. but aslong as i dont have to do the 4 days in a row, like i did last year; ill be ok. slept saturday night, was up all day sunday, night, monday, night, tues, night, wednesday, half the night. slept thursday. was up thursday night and friday. it was a scary stretch. prolly shortened my life by 4 years. so dont be like me kids.

i think ive surprised people this past week, demonstrating that i can cook without burning down the place. coacn and mouse were the first victims... jeff and khaldee got their dose of poison tonight. anyone else who wants me to cook for them just ought to drop me a line. its not so bad. sure beats cooking for myself every night. at least then i have someone to talk with as i do it.

ive been thinking over my situation of the future. im not sure whats going to happen. i was set to do LSATs this summer, now im starting to balk away from it. i think i need a strong kick to get me to do it. because i need to. i guess the future just kind of scares me. more likely than not, i wont be here in a years time. ill be somewhere. without anyone i know around me. even for a non-people person like myself, its hard to think about. but i guess its got to happen. things just have to move along somehow.

other than that, my mind is full of things. lot of what i wrote last night stays there. i really do need to talk about it. aaron was right; ive got to just let it go... the hell with timing, situation, or what they think. i do need to be honest and let it go. i guess, as much as im reluctant to do it, im glad i do have friends out there that i know are right. i fight with myself when i know how much it means to me. and i shouldnt do that. it shouldnt be this way... the whole situation is wrong... so i guess its time [according to my horrorscope] that i step to the plate to start the bargaining process.

other than that... im feeling burnt out. its early yet. lots of things to go. but i feel it. im dragging. i ache. im tired. its setting in.

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