current musical selection: Guns 'N Roses - Its So Easy

dammit its thursday allready.. i really dont know where time goes to. its one of the most frustrating things i think ive ever never paid attention to. well, that and my slash and burn approach to the english grammar. but really; the older i get, the faster time seems to move. dont rank me up with einstein on this, but it seems to be holding up. it really seems like just yesterday when i was writing in here; which was sunday in actuallity; then i get some irrate view-email about my lack of postings... fuckit. i realize ive missed another week. and its not that im doing anything to move the time, just that it goes by; even sitting on the deck the other day reading a book after dinner, i had no clue that 3 and a half hours had went by... hell even strenuous physical labor seems to be moving quickly [what else would you call mowing monster hills with a push mower in 100 degree + heat index weather].

im told thats one of the signs of getting old... noticing the accelerated passage of time... thank god i havent hit the second plateau: not remembering the accelerated passage of time. but lets face it, i am getting old. some days its worse than others... and it is an obtuse thought, to even consider, that im ending up more and more like my parents; but it really is happening. i even find the trend happening at school... more so lately. the longer i live in the residence halls, the younger everyone seems; and im not talking weeks/days/years; im feeling generational differences between the kids as they come in now, even from when i started, let alone where im at now. one of the things that really put it into perspective was the whole internet/computer revolution. any generation older than mine [being born lets say before 1977] has had to learn to accept computers in the home... or even computers as a general concept.. before that nothing much existed... but with my generation from roughly that time forward until approximately 1990ish.. we all grew up with the primitive versions of at-home-computing... im talking strait laced atari 2600's, magnavox pong, and the commodore 64. we have grown up knowing, and using computers.. but weve watched them evolve in our hands, technology has moved slow enough that we adapt on the fly, earlier generations are befuddled by it and often require a lag time before accepting changes... then comes about the new micro-generation as i refer to it... these kids, now about 13 to 8 years old have no idea where computers started from--- they have no recollection, and have likely seen nothing of what their generation-mates have... never have they had blisters on their hands from pointed, crappily designed 1 button joysticks, or been forced to operated 'digital' gaming devices by LEVERs [as with the atari's] and not with a mouse. the kids now really dont know anything except the internet and what thats brought about. i catch myself in wonder watching my younger brother grasp technology without the wonder that i did; its allready been taken for granted. really. in the space of a half generation or less, a massive tidal wave of tecnological revolution has been brought and digested. shit, kids wont even know what vcr's [let alone Beta format... or even old super-8 reel film w/o sound!] are in few years... if its not TiVO or doesnt have some 3 dollar 'digital' wording moniker, its ancient history. watching my brother use technology [he will start high school this year] is an interesting process... i mean god dammit, these kids now will be watching moies and things that are all digitally constructed and stored in school, but just a few short years ago when i was there, we didnt have anythign like it, really even on the horizon. i remember struggling to create a working knowledge of PC Dos [yeah.. before microsoft -=bm=-] then my attempts at true UNIX [before it needed fancyshit names like Lindows and Redhat] language... and kids of this age and younger now, are perplexed at how to operate computers without pictures, GUI's and mouse... not to mention the black screen with green text is considered "pretty dull man"; fuck even Their versions of Unix have to have pictures [reference to previous citation of Lindows and Redhat distros of linux, and similar unix cored OS with GUI--- post edit S.A.] really thats what makes me feel old.. im seeing the sweeping changes that are occuring within my own generation... im watching it divide off and segment out...

as ive told some friends many times in conversation, this over technologication of daily life is crippling the way traditional america operates... as i continued with that rant, "we always will need someone to scoop horeshit from stalls, we allways need people to be janitor and scrub walls; where do allow for them in this new era?; where do cultivate the workers we need for general, non-skilled, descently paid manual labor tasks? and is it necessary that we 1- train them in technology, and 2-infuse it into what they do? next thing we will have electronic mops that tell you when to wring them out, or something similar in its stupidity in techno-infusion."

god i am getting old... hopefully someday i wont be as so old to no longer instruct a snot-nosed-punk kid how to scrub a floor; but have his mop do it for me... anywho.. a simple programming note - i think for next time ill dip in to a little VIEWER MAIL!!!! anything stuipd youd like my 2 cents on, or just something youd like to hear about me; go ahead and drop away at: scott-alvarado@uiowa.edu ; and as always i look forward to your responses to what i say.. just remember dont expect to see it end up here.. this is my space, not yours... until then

ain't it fun~
s.

current musical selection: Monster Magnet - God Says No

its raining outside.... really this is my favorite weather... i dont like the humidity in the 90% region-- but i do love it when it rains. gloomy-doomys.. thats pretty much my cup o' tea... cept i dont drink tea.. tea sucks ass....

"fireing in my friend, but i come back again and again... i just cant pretend, one more step and ill start bend..... i tried to live, then god says no
we go on our way; just waiting for that lucky day.....i tried every way, just so that god can blow me away"

ive come to realize a few things lately.... i was talking with a long time friend the other night; and i realized that no one ever wants to hear what i have to say. no no, its not her fault.. i mean really this is something so trivial enough that it never usually comes across my mind; but lately in conversations with multiple people, ive noticed it. i can mention something; and it doesnt matter. i can say a clever word; and i get a glare, then it resumes. i can try to be sympathetic and just listen and all will go fine; until i make a conjecture, change of subject, or mark of advice; then it grinds to a halt. really interesting how fluidly the conversation will wing around my attempt to speak.

"scary thoughts, wishing we were dead... you wont get caught unless you are queer... then youll be ready for the new frontier.
its good to be bad; its the best time youll ever have.... what the hell is this ultra fad.... just play it cool, and lets work on our ass.. you start to laugh, then god says no"

i guess its always been interesting to me how people tend to express their feelings. alot of what people think is so complex, to me settles out being rather trivial. maybe thats too condescending; and maybe thats just right... seems to me people make big, big predicaments over small occurances or events that really no longer warrant any thought. granted, im not removing myself from this category; sure some of my past actions did seem, in retrospect, pointless to worry about... and really from that perspective its all and all rather pointless for me to have said or done anything, with circumstances standing as they did. but people it seems arent that way. people seem to need something to be catastrophic, something so big and debilitating that they must triumph through it all, and only with near mystical prowess and perserverance, will they truely live on... even after bobby never called them back last night, when he said he would. trivial shit indeed.

"I need some love, to start the show... but ask just once, and god says no...a point of life flies through my head; a scary thought like I was someone else... adn dont get lost now and show no fear; then youll be ready for a new frontier..."

maybe im not as compassionate as my peers would suggest i need to be. maybe ive just grown up while theyve only grown in. i can recollect when i thought things were a mess... honestly they might have been, with all the circumstances that id put myself into, but wholey they were my own.... my own mistakes, my own misgivings, my own illusions... and much like the song goes, "I bought me an illusion, and i put it on the wall.. i let it fill head with dreams, and i had to have them all... but oh the taste is never so sweet as what youd beleive it is.. well i guess it never is" [partial lyrics to Guns N Roses "Locomotive" from the Use Your Illusion 2 album---post edit S.A] but even despite of all that, i rarely turned my frustrations against another, and very, very seldomnly admitted what was going on to others; and only then in the closest of confidence to friends... to me it never became a nightly show... or the only topic of oratation... maybe thats the difference.. i really never let myself hose people with my own self doubts, pitty and remorse.. i had plenty of that for myself... some say i still do.

maybe its my own rules to the game, but i think proper edicate of conversation, especially when confronted with emotionally laden tales, is to allow some else to talk. yes yes i suppose you should dam the river before the lake, but what are you really expecting this other person to do with the baggage you drop on them? if you dont want it returned, dont bring it to them. own up to yourself first.


ain't it fun~
s.

--------------------------------------
all italics are the lyrics to the song "God Says No" by Monster Magnet
buy the album.. its goooooood shtuff

geez two days or so are allready come and gone...

lately ive been loosing myself in books... books are good.. granted, this isnt something i would probably have said several years ago, but for right now, and for whatever reasons, ive been really focusuing on completing massive amounts of reading.. current stop is the famed "Turner Diaries" Interesting book. Short too. the paperback version i have is something like 200 pages.. ive easily covered 2/3's of it in about 2 hours... yes, it does focus on lots of nasty little ideas like racisim and anti-semetics... but also hits home on several other issues, dealing with the liberties of personal ownership, government restriction of the private sector, and believe it or not, immigration status. It was written in the '70s.. and it shows.. the books actually takes place in the early '90s, but little things havent come about [like the INTERNET] among others; but it is quite focused stab on social commentary, one interesting portion:

" Nor have the girls remained entirely passive. Sexual debauchery of every sort on the part of young white ment and women-- and even children in their pre-teens -- has reached a level which would have been unimaginable only two or three years ago. The queers, the fetishists, the mixed-race couples, the sadists, and the exhibitionists-- urged on by the mass media -- are parading their perversions in public, and the public is joining them. " [Macdonald, 58]

its really quite shocking how close this is to whats going on in american society today; to claim that thongs on 12 year old girls is anything but the stuff of 'sexual debauchery' that its labeled in the above citation, is pure non-sense. today we've 'liberated' ourselves to such a pedistal that not only is this type of utter attrocious conduct, is not only acceptable, but MODEL-able. If it werent, Britney and Christina would be out of a job. Hell you deviant sick fucks [no, i will not allow you the curteous of polite and non-judgemental naming] should really be locked up. As far as for the rest of the sexual fetishes and the like.. watch Jerry Springer some afternoon. Havent watched any episodes dealing with flowers and bunny rabits... no, instead they all parade aroud in their life's grand state of turmoil; utterly torn between the rules of safe and harbored sato-masichism and the daring and courageous advent of the homo-erotic sato-masichistic. What turmoil indeed.

Thats about half a sentence from my volumeous tale of rant. I really shouldnt go much farther than that.... so instead, the 'Turner Diaries' is actually hitting on some interesting ideas, like i said before, again its plain as day to see how people will make the quite literal 'rip' of racial content; and most of them will never look deeper than that; but if one should manage it, extrapolating the basic arguments and applying it into quasi-modern context is relevant. Case-in-point: basic argument of private ownership of firearms is key to lighting the main-character and co. into action, which is ofcourse, perpretrated by government action. The parallel that leapt into my head translated to "DMCA" [read it all if youd like.. its really long, pretty much its the definitive end of personal 'ownership' rights over electronic media and devices [IE- it nixes out your right as consumer to make a copy of your music cd, that you bought.. citing that it is a license you purchased, and the act you attempt is not in good faith of that licensing agreement... ultimately this law has paved the way for the copy protection crap that we see now.. including the zone coding on DVDs; but read up on it, its your right afteral... {S.A; post edit}]
Yeah i guess i read into it a bit much; but i really do see the DMCA issue being replicated with Macdonalds [a psuedonym for the real author: William Pierce, recently died] portrayal of government backed seizure of legitimately owned private property. Case-in-point 2: the use of the government owned, computer network for checking of citizen status || yep, you guessed it, Washington's answer to the 'Al Queada" problem.. creating a mass citizen database, for checking up on the authenticity and accuracy of a person to be inside this country's borders. Ofcourse theres also the mention of a September 11th attack, [p.94 ], or the media's grand epiphony to connect Timmothy McVeigh with the annhydous ammonia truck bomb plot, with the similar exploits of the main character on the FBI head quarters [p.38]. But in my mind this all goes to show you, who actually reads the stuff we write. Shocking yes, but people like me do read, and unfortunately we also have rather hard-lined separatists and idealists who also read; and alot of this just becomes food for thought for them. If the cold hearted killers, or even hardnosed business men seaching for the top profit [McVeigh, 9/11 hijackers and co-conspirators, and ofcourse Hollywood execs and the RIIA] find in our literature; i really fear for what those young girls, sporting those trendy Abercrombe thongs will pick up on.

Granted, im a cold, vile and direct person. I make no appologies for that, but really, what kind of message does that send? really we cant expect a truely harbored existence for our young impresionable children of today, but for christ's sake; why do we feel to propagate our own debaucherous activites down to their accessible reach? Sure, I, as a creepy old man, many have some really horrid dreams and fantasies about 'bubble-bath time with Brittney', by why are we ptiching these types of things back at the 12 year olds? I mean really, check out a half hour of MTV; the videos of makeout sessions and lude sex acts, commonly attributed to music starts, are now drawing in outside influences [IE- Anna Kournikova of the tennis world in Enrique Iglases vid.. SA post edit] not to mention the sick perversion of 'hollywoodism' we attribute to most rapp'ers lifestyles. Is it really the ideal type for our society? Even if; are we really correct in making this point for these kids, at such an early age?


you decide it. ill keep reading, and leave you pitiful pop culture media whores to your own world, and return to my books.

ain't it fun~
s.

POST NUMERO UNO!

Yep.. Im here. Its really funny, i used to do something like this on my old website [back when xoom.com was alive... god rest ye soul~!]; it was a pain in the ass to keep updating everything in a txt file to do it... im glad technology finally caught up to me once again.

Anywho. post numero uno should be a joyous one.. so ill talk about myself in another entry. As you can tell, if your cool, the title of this blog was ripped from my two of my favorite Guns n Roses songs... Estranged and Its So Easy... GnFnR for life! yeah.. first post is going well.. im glad i have such a great audience here tonight. ill get into more concrete things later... just getting her set up.....

THIS BLOG WAS BORN ON JULY 23, 2002 at 1:53am CST.

ain't it fun~
s.