so creeps in this petty pace

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle. Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Act V, Scene V, Tragedy of MacBeth

so i have some thinking to do. ive done some already. but i have a lot more to do. i cant say that im ever in a good spot for very long. a situation of sorts has arisen at work, such that im expected to make a choice that i feel very pressured to make. its not life or death or anything like that. its not even really all that important. but to me, its a hard decision to make. the option is on the table for me to switch to a different department, for equal pay, equal position. it 'costs' me; a change of weekends, a slightly worse schedule than i already have, plus the entire problem of learning everything there is to know about an entirely different group of garbage. i 'get' the change of scenery, the heartwarming sensation that i can learn something else, and the ability to cast my net wider for future spots by doing this. it, however, is not that simple of a choice to make.

at its root is the stability of my current slot. should i choose to go, a whole lot of people are going to think i jumped ship, before it sunk. because there will be some sinking involved, without question. my entire menards life has been spent in the same spot, and its quite warm, even with the garage i deal with. this is going to look bad if i jump, because there isnt any direct benefit for me other than to be out of the old department. ... ... ... and i think people will take note of that quite readily.

if money were involved, or a true promotion up, no one would think any different, and id probably never have to think much about the outcome. but for this... this to me, would look like someone wants out, and found a way out. because it is that way.

so im rather conflicted about the whole mess. i know, that at noon tomorrow, they want an answer from me. who the hell could fee anything but pressured by that? i tried to force my self to think this over a lot today, so i spent most of the day driving to nowhere doing just that. i know that if im reflecting this much on it, something says this isnt a small of a deal as the others are offering it up to be. so here i sit.

the honest answer should be; if i cant make a decision, then dont. but i also know, that not making a decision is the same as rejecting future offers without saying as much. but thats unfortunately part of the package. i really dont know what im going to say tomorrow.