.... Of course, there are other rediculous things out there I could talk about.

I suppose something that makes me just shudder in the thought of how stupid its become: Reunion Tours. Yes. I'm talking about the tendency of all things musical to turnaround 9 years after they break up and do a money grubbing reunion tour. Or, tours. See. Kiss thought they were doing something original when they did it... by it, I mean the endless parade of reunion, last of, no more coming back, cash grab tours. But now its not only popular, but its probably expected. I mean, on the one hand, I am stoked about possibly going to see Ronnie James Dio with Black Sabbath errrrrrr Heaven and Hell; something smells a tad bit funky about it all... since they did this once before you know. Then there is Immortal. A horridly humorous black metal band that decided to come back and tour... some more. Which Immortal is only of note because of THIS, the single greatest music video evvvvvver! [or this version, set to the Benny Hill theme song!] Or a how about Audioslave splitting up, so that Rage Against The Machine can have their reunion tour, and the rumored Soundgarden reunion can happen. sigh. Its all becoming so tired. Even the "Alice In Chains" reunion, which ofcourse is missing one important person... seems rediculous... almost to the point of Iowa State Fair Grand Stand Show embarrassament... soon there will be a tour of the Jackson 5, with Tito and a few puppets... and maybe some boy Jacko molested, will wear the Captain Crunch jacket. its just bad... rediculously bad..

So in the news.... [trying to avoid the point that shit like this does seem to happen outside of Florida],I ran across this gem. And really how could I avoid it? It involves the elderly, improvised weapons, and a new Thunderdome attitude thats been lacking among the Social Security Sect of late....

Linked from QCONLINE.com.

Police: 76-year-old beat 81-year-old with hammer

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Photo: Submitted Richard E. Johnson

Davenport police arrested a 76-year-old man today, alleging he hit an 81-year-old woman in the head with a hammer.

Richard Edison Johnson, 76, a resident of the Davenport Lend-a-Hand complex at 401 w. 3rd St., is charged with attempted murder. Police say he hit Elizabeth A. Alwine, 81, several times in the head with a hammer after an argument in the building's smoking area. She also is a resident of the complex.

The incident occurred about 11:30 a.m.

Ms. Alwine was taken to Genesis East Medical Center, where she was treated and released. .

Mr. Johnson is being held at the Scott County Jail on $32,500 bond.

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and in a breath.... FUCK YES. Old people knocking the crap out of each other at the 'home! YESSS this really is my dream come true. And only one thing could possibly make it better; the MUGSHOT GOODNESS! Complete with the shit eating grin that just smears... "I Really Have No Idea Where I Parked" God dammit! All I have to do is let people be people, and they will relieve the tension in my life for me. Old people, cursing, bag of hammers.... instant Thunderdome! Golden.

Oh. I learned a new word the other day. Errrrr noun, I should say. "Turd Spoon" Figure it out? See, I'd have made the assumption it was some sort of sexual slang; its not. Aunt Jemima showed up at the store the other day; looking for a new toilet. She plugged hers up. Now, I dont know about you, but I've had some nasty poops, but never have they been candidates for Disposeable Toilet status.... back to Turd Spoons. So she was asking me about the old one; naturally, since its plugged [and not with paper!], how does she do removal and installation. I scratched my beard, and looked away. She let the awkward silence sit for a second, then started mumbling about needing a pump or something to transfer it to the new one [and my goodness, why wouldnt you do such a thing?!?!?]; and looked me dead in the eye, and ask if I sold "Turd Spoons." I got that grin that I can get. That one thats half Grinch, half mother-fucker, and topped off in Raisinettes.... "I'm not sure I've heard of that, is that a brand name product?" I let fly... Well no, it wasn't. She didnt think. But something, I guess, exists in her mind, somewhat akin to a soup ladel, specially designed for turd transfers. She calls it a Turd Spoon. I call it, another freaking rediculous thing from menards.