so it rained today. about 3 inches worth. people knew it was going to rain. its been raining since friday. but. at 6pm, an hour before the store closes; half of rock island comes in trying to buy sump pumps. people were screaming, stomping around, bitching and moaning about water in the basement, water on the stairs, water in the drains, water on the brain.... sigh. just idiocy on a mass level. we sold 34 sump pumps in less than 2 hours. we sold 70 packages of drainage hose. and still, people are complaining. but really. its been raining since friday. it rained all day; is it really a rush now? when the water probably has been collecting all weekend? sigh.

todays winners also included... "Do you sell okra? No? Its not a food. Give me someone who knows a damn about plumbing then." Four of us had never heard of okra. other than as a food. we all refused to tell mister idiot, that its oakum. its jute cord soaked in oil. but we let him babble on about okra. thank god it wasnt oprah.

another tall young woman, with her very short boyfriend admitted to me that they needed a bigger shower because sometimes they use it together. i laughed, and made a flippant comment about how rushed it gets in the mornings sometimes. she corrected me that they have sex in it. appearantly; that was supposed to help find a shower for them. i dunno.

some idiot asked me if a specific plunger worked right. it was one with accordian pleats in it. i told him, "no... it works fine, but it tends to catch stuff in all those pleats in it" he looked at me. 'what kind of stuff?' i reminded him we were talking about whatever it was hes blocked his toilet up with. he didnt say anything. but his wife wrinkled up her nose. thankfully someone understood.

i had a customer demand to open a box because he wanted to see the color of the finish. so we did. then he said hed buy it, but only one that hadnt been opened. and he refused to take the one he just watched me open.

a woman called on the phone asking about drainage kits for cinder-block walls. i told her we sell them in a kit and by pieces. she asked how much per foot. i told her 48" pieces are 22 dollars. well, she asks how much the kit is. i tell her its 287 dollars, and does 30 linear feet. she gets mad. "what the hell does that mean?" i explain to her that if you put all the pieces in a line, it was go 30 feet. she didnt get it, and told me to stop talking down to her. then complained that i wouldnt tell her how much per foot the pieces cost. i told her each four foot section was 22 dollars. she still claimed i was using big words and was trying to cheat her.

the hot cashier came around trying to put away returns. i tried to make small talk with her. it turns out shes 18. sigh. she asked how old i was. i told her i was 25. "eww gross, and youre hitting on me!" sadly i wasnt. she did mention something to me later about how she didnt think i was that old. sigh. but she told me that one cashier working that day was 36. which surprised me, because i figured that person was younger than i was.

another wonderful time at menards.