in a few hours, ill be on the job. and its starting to make me nervous. little things like, am i dressed right? can i bring coffee in? where the hell do i actually sit? what am i supposed to do when i walk in the door? when do i get to eat lunch? what the hell am i going to do all day? how am i going to remember anything? sigh. the typical pre-first day jitters.

its alot. its a big change for me. i have to keep telling myself its no longer a job, its now a career. im the youngest by far at what ill do. and according to the vice president at the interview; "were going to take a chance on you." that started to sink in over the weekend. i dont know why. on some level i wonder why im there, i dont really need them to come out and say they wonder too. i dont know. im just hoping i fall asleep tonight, rather than rolling around wondering about everything. i guess in times like these i try to look for comfort things. this time around, there isnt much. the last few jobs ive known someone that work there. not this time. the last few times i knew what to expect. i dont really know this time. the last job had very little to do with me pushing product, and everything with people going to a name... this time, people know the name but they have to come screaming to me to want it. its a stark, white change. so. im bumbling around matching ties to pants and feeling gernearlly manic about something that wont happen until tomorrow. but i am kind of getting nervous about it.