Current Musical Selection: Anthrax - Fueled

kick start and turn it over || punch drunk, but im still sober || 14 years, a whole lot bolder || and I don’t flinch || hungry and ill take the best || cuz I never wanted anything less || what doesn’t kill makes me stronger || its like a war inside me, action is all I know || tell me its suicide? Tell me something I don’t already know!

A lot going one right now. Not a lot I guess I want to talk about. Kinda strange huh? I tend to put down a lot of that kind of thing here, but I just don’t feel right in it. Just a lot of questioning and second-guessing going on with me. I'm questioning a lot of what the hell I'm doing in life anymore, and its not easy. It's not easy when you have to sit and argue with yourself, alone at night, that you are doing the right thing with your life. It gets stale telling yourself that some shitt-yass silver lining is in all this for you. It gets hard motivating yourself to get up and keep walking into day after day of complete fucking bullcrap. Tonight I don’t know if I won the argument. I think I only persevered because I was too tired to fight it… too tired to fight myself on it. Too many things wrong with it all, not enough going right. Someday I'm just going to give up on what I want, days like today speed that process along. Its not every day I feel this pathetic, just today. Just today that I feel shortchanged, trampled and cast-aside, all prematurely. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I don’t know what the answers are, and I don’t even know what the problem is… it just isn't working out like I want it to…

s.