Current Musical Selection: Duff McKagan - "I Love You", and other selections from this solo lp; 'Believe In Me'

Once again ive managed to let 6 days come and go before i update this... trust me, i know, the email starts piling up, then the hate-email starts piling up; so wait your turn; ill get to it. it will get updated with much more frequency in less than one week; as ill be moved back in at school and permanently glued to my keyboard and ethernet and T3 once again. im sure the entries will also get shorter as well, so for those of you waiting for my next novel sized installment; wait, it too will be comming in the form of a novel once school and piddly annoying crap concerning school cease. in the meantime; its blog time.

a bit of sad news of late i guess; turns out my great-uncle dean; of kewanee illinios; was diagnosed with cancerous pockets in his jaw and throat area, turns out it was a little too late, and the oncologists determined that the cancer had totally spread throughout his body. he passed away less than a week after diagnosis. its sad; it really is, i never had the chance to see him in the hospital, and probably the last time he saw me was 5 to 10 years ago. im sure he wouldnt recognize me anymore. as it turns out, the funeral and proceedings are early next week, which will postpone my move-in at school. there was rumor floating around earlier that i may be called on to be a pallbearer, so it is a necessary postponement in my mind.

onto other news; as much as i try to avoid mentioning and tieing my thoughts to it, my position in ARH has greatly increased the amount of stress in my life; needlessly so. most of the occurances have been so petty and shallow that they should not have even attracted my attention or time to correct, but they did. moving in the microfriges was so slow going and annoying, taking all of my day; litterally from 7:30am [plus the hour commute before hand] until nearly 6pm. not cool. no big mistakes or problems, just slow work, and people who werent under good directions... after i became frustrated with the process, and changed how we did it, things seemed to move much faster. on the same day i had meetings with the Vice President of the Unviersity, as well as the Assoc. Dean of Students... again, major stress. not from them, they are both interesting people in their own rights, and id probably enjoy a solid hour of quasi-non-business related conversation with them, but thats not really possible is it? instead i hear the answers i dont want to hear, push to get the answers i do want, and end up much more irritable from the process.

last piece of stress realation activity comes from the local printers, to whom i trusted my $3,000 plus; keychain order, would be completed on time and satisfactorily... not so. i find out that the order, which was due today, no exceptions. wouldnt be in. 6,000 keychains, for the kids who move into the dorms next week, will not be ready when the kids are. inexcuseable; yes, stoppable; no, foreseeable; should have been. the one time i place an order with date sensitivity, im defied. ofcourse appologies were passed on from the manufacturer in California, to the printer, to me; but really nothing is going to change this. the box will arrive on monday, i wont arrive until tuesday to dink with it, kids will have been comming in since 8am monday morning. allready im hearing phone calls and emails from deskstaffs, RAs and administrators; bitching and moaning at me about the lack of keychains... to you all i have one simple request [children and virgins cover your ears]

SHUT THE FUCK UP. BACK THE FUCK OFF. SUCK MY FUCKING DICK, IM TIRED OF YOUR GODDAMMED SHIT. [thank you to Axl Rose for the inspriation and insults]--- not only am i well aware of the lack of keychains, but im equally upset about it. but the minute you start putting on guilt trip, or condesending attitudes towards me and this project, i will hear no more of it. these tags are a sign of good faith, and a gesture of good will, which we pay for; for the students... not you. not only will i take offense to what you say and my gift, but ill take them away. these arent mandatory, these arent my job to do, these are my way of showing appreciation; if its not appreciated i walk, and so do the keytags.

i appologize for the language, but again this is my log, not yours. take offense if you want, but the one thing in life i will not stand for are people who overstep their bounds, to make my life worse. the minute some low level desk jockey, who ive never heard of, starts informing me of my errors and misgivings, ill shove this all back out to you in spades. not only do you have no clue who your talking to, you also have no clue what happened, or whats being done. you dont even have jurisdiction over me or my organization; all you do is bitch about getting a free gift; thats not even yours... all of this is out of my hands now, and i think i deserve some credit for trying to rectify that. end sound off here.

as earlier stated, id answer some viewer email---
"what the hell is up with the Aint It Fun quote" --- well the quote comes from Axl Rose, who is actually quoting an old song by Stiv Bators and The Dead Boys... a moderate force in the late 70s/early 80s punk music scene. the stuff is really great, lots of energy, rasp and drugs; the recording quality isnt so great... axl and co. covered the actual song Aint It Fun; for the 1993 Spaghetti Incident? release. great song, great quote.. the song lyrics talk about the various stages of life and its occurances, in a largely cynical way. look it up sometime

next question---
"whats with the Guns and Roses infatuation; they suck, they werent that good, and they are so 80s; move on allready" --- well first off, yes its a mild infatuation, second of all, eat me. the band WAS great, the band IS influential, and its still one of my favorites. it spawned careers of nearly everyone it touched, Izzy, Gilby, Duff, Slash, Adler, Sorum, Andreadis, even the backup singers... everyone has benefitted. although i do love the music, the time period is also nice to remember; its of my formative growing up years so it means something to me to have the music from the time that i remember. above all else, they rock... everything now sucks ass musicaly. nothings new, nothings edgy, everything is labeled in a way that says 'dont label me'. enough of that, GnR can be labeled, and it doesnt fit; the band did nearly every style of song you can think of, and it remains to be seen how many other songs are out there recorded, but never released due to egos, contracts and lifestyles. in short, its my band of choice, not yours.

last question--
"Why do you rant on and on about everything? You hardly ever talk about your life or your day, like most people do in their online journals, why is that?" --- good question. not sure. the world pisses us all off in mysterious ways... i usually will light into something that particularly annoys me at the momment... why do i waste my time? better question; this is supposed to be a catch all for my thoughts. my handwriting has taken such a turn for the worse, that i have problems reading it; so this was the next most logical choice. so in that sense, this is where i turn to an audience thats all my own; you all. in life, most people tire of my rantings after a few moments, some times they listen for hours; so this is still the best place.. the best place to plunk down something. so enjoy.

well bedtime for me... as allways, viewer mail is appreciated, questions comments and snide remarks to"

scott-alvarado@uiowa.edu

till then..

ain't it fun~
s.

current musical selection: The Cult - Beyond Good and Evil [album]

It feels good to dig up some old [or just merely forgotten] records and cd's and just blare them at 11/10 notches doesn't it? With no one else home today, I did just that... so if my neighbors are reading this: thanks for not calling the police.

Nothing better than hearing something coming out of the speakers, other than Brittney, Nu-metal or some sappy 3-chord "R&B" [read: Rap without Balls] rip off [read: sampled] from some lame ass 70s funk band... finally I get to hear some real, descent, hard rock and roll... plenty of Stones, the Cult, GnR [as always] and Deep Purple... no crap. Today, although I had nothing else better to do... I had no time for the usual air[over]play of crap.

Hearing some of those parts made me think about some of the good old times... memories attach themselves in the oddest circumstances. Sometimes I hear just a chorus or maybe even only a small snippet of song, and it brings back so much... not only the music, but also what was going on the last time I remember it. Memories aren't so bad, even if the times were... I guess I see the memories as good; and the bad memories as just baggage. Baggage is heavy, its cumbersome, its a loaded term... and generally its not something you want to carry with you... you'd give it a nicer term. You'd call it 'luggage' or 'essentials'; not baggage. No, baggage is the bulk rate shit-sack of every bad, resentful and unpleasant thing that creeps back into your psyche under the auspices of a memory.

You never see it coming. Hell its all got the same postmarkings, right? I mean, you cant tell what it is until you open it all up, and there it is... right in your mind; and its there and its not going away. And you just dread the time it takes before it vanishes, because your stuck remembering and watching and just reliving experiences that you've wanted to forget... but the baggage system doesn't work quite like that I've found. Your baggage has your address. Your baggage always finds its way back to you. And sometimes, other people will even help bring it to you... you didn't want to forget anything anyway, did you?

Random thoughts on thoughts today I guess. A lot of times I catch myself doing that. Hanging up on the past. Memories do attach to the oddest of places. I can remember quite vividly once, probably when I was about 9 years old... somewhere on vacation, in the middle of nowhere.. It was hot, dry, humid.. The kind of days you go swimming on, or eat ice cream. But we're not. We're in this, stinking, wooden collapsing structure; crammed to the gunwales full of crap... old crap, assorted crap, pictures of crap. That's what it all looks like when your 9. You just want to stop looking at it. So instead you run through the place, looking at everything as fast as you can, thinking maybe that when your done looking, you'll get to leave. All the while, my parents aren't paying attention. For whatever reason, my mom is talking shop with this hag of an old woman... the woman must be 90, long gray stringy hair down to her waist, with glasses and wrinkled skin; but still could weigh more than 100 pounds, even in her white flannel night-gown, which she's wearing at mid afternoon still. No, no one is watching, not even me. Then I run into it. Literally. The first time I really ever remembered a casket. I can remember looking at it, and wondering why you'd build a table with hinges... then I get to walking around and looking at it, and I realize what it was. It creeped me out just a bit. But I kept exploring it, eventually climbing on it partway, and realizing there is a glass pane in the lid. That's when I lost it. I could look into see a rotting corpse, I ran down isle, which threaded its self back and around the store to find my dad. They all laughed. Later I did too. Just the sheer madness of why some old antique collector [a bit antiquated herself] would have a casket with a window in it... but I remember it; although I'm sure she wouldn't. And probably not my parents either. But people do help with your baggage too.

I also remember talking with an ex-girl friend on the phone, late one night. All beyond the hate and anger stage, id prepared myself and was striving for the 'friendship' stage that would inevitably develop, due to my infatuation with her. She started talking about nothing. Well, it to her was something, but to me was nothing. She talked about how she hated her roommate, how much she drank the night before; she talked about how she was found half unconscious, vomiting all over herself, clearly from alcohol poisoning. All of it to her was something. It was fun, it was a game, and it was enjoyable to share with me. She giggled, and laughed. And I thought it was nothing. Nothing at all to be proud about, or brag about, with the bravado of 'yeah it was soooo cool' to me it was the kind of incident that might make a seasoned alcoholic work for sobriety. But not to her. To her this was something. So I listened. Appalled, and terrified for her and at her; but I only listened. Even as she tells me how she wakes up the next morning without any clothes on, in some guys bed. Apparently they freaked out when they found her, and just decided the paramedics and campus security would ruin the party, so they treated her. Jocks treated her. She was apparently thrown in a cold shower, stripped, and thrown into bed to sober up. But the giggling re-emerges when she tells me, that when she wakes up, she realizes that she's not even wearing underwear, and some random guy gets embarrassed when he has to create a reason for taking them off her. But she giggles when telling me about it. Maybe even when it was happening too, I'm not sure. I wasn't listening real well; I was sitting on the floor, in the dark, trying to imagine how she could find this all humorous, let alone worth telling me. She wasn't using it as a crutch, or as a coping strategy to relate this to me; no she was in fact, genuinely amused by her story and predicament. I remember then, looking up as the music in the changer switched cd's, its loud, heavy clunk seemed to last for minutes, until it started. Then I heard the song start.

There are a lot of times you can remember things... remembering seems to be the neutral gear of it all. It pre-curses 1st, with throws you headlong into some good memories... or it jams your teeth together, when it rips you straight into reverse, straight back to reclaim the baggage that you lost.

ain't it fun~
s.

current musical selection: Rolling Stones - Some Girls [album]

Something is really starting to make me dread this comming school term... as i was sitting and thinking about whats come and gone, i keep forcing myself to look ahead to what will come; and it isnt necessarily going to be the best of times.

with the entire ARH cloud looming closer still, and with the pesky interference of grades and coursework still poking about; it seems i wont have much, if any, free time to speak of. im not sure i like that idea. although last year was probably nearly as busy, i still managed to create time to sit and relax, and just be around people and friends when i chose. im doubting this years schedule will again afford me such luxury.

obviously this is a pretty negative thought for me; but i think its more of a bring down to my friends. we all moved onto the same floor, within about oh 15 feet of each other, for the continued commradory... which i think will be lacking me. granted i will be around at times, but i think we both will have had similar expectations of which, i dont think, it will be possible for me to live up to.

i suppose i should also mention my personal life is bound to suffer some more as well, due to the workaholic nature of what ill be doing... but thats not really much of a concession to make, especially if you lived my [lack of] dating life. its funny how everyone always mentions that "some day you'll find the one" to me thats extremely freightening... not the notion of a match, though that too is pretty ludacris, but more over the notion that there is one out there... one, singular, uno, one. granted im sure its not intentioned that way, but why do we say it that way? surely it cant be meant that way, hell half this country's marriages end in divorce, and who knows how many of the remaining half are not plagued by infidelity or periods of mutual separation, both in mind and body, from one another. to me the thought of only having that 'one' possibility seems much more bleek than the million to one it ought to be... still its not like a billion to one odds are much more favorable.

the whole subject of marriage has been topic for many of my rants in real life conversation... forcing many people to become overly insecure and objective over my thoughts, but ill save most of you here, by-passing most of that for now. but what i will say is that marriage has been so down-graded in the past 2 generations in this country, that i seriously question why anyone would want to get married anymore? i know that people themselves definitely question this. marriage is something now which is a multi-billion dollar business... both getting married and getting un-married. infact weve created so many divorces and grounds for divorce, that its no wonder the divorce rate is what it is. honestly i think the underlying fault of all this has been the "me first" and "liberation" movements of the past 40 years. we push and push for me, me, me; and when marriage becomes 'too hard' or 'irreconsilable' we call it quits, and move on to number 2-4. honestly what was happening about 700 years ago, before we started issuing divorces? were people any more happy? were domestic disputes really that less frequent? i doubt it. life was harder then, more taxing on ones existence, and honestly domestic disputes and random wife beatings were quite abit more likely to ocurr; so then why the move to divorce in mass groves now? i mean, it sounds to the logical person, that divorces or similar remedy should have been abundant in those times, and they werent; what changed? us. weve demanded upon ourselves as a culture that everything has got to revolve around our ears. everything comes 'custom fit' now a days, everyone has to look unique and different, even in the trends they utilize to be unique [read: body piercing, tattooing, slut-tastic appearal]. even our scientific institutions have to be riddled with uniqueness for us; every disease now has a fancy 5-dollar name, and most likely will be recomended to a 'specialist' for consultation... ill be damned, but i havent seen the physical from of the homo-sapiens as documented as remarkedly changed as the way we treat it now. but, i digress... we want these fancy ailments; its more sympathy, its more distinction, its more dignity in a morbid fashion. to say im deathly ill, or to say i have cancer, or to say i have hodgkins based non-lymphomic degenerative carcinoma; realisitically mean the same thing. but today, we urge the last term, it makes us an astute, special sounding paitent; for which we can further 'tailor' our treatments to.

back to the marriage question next time, lets first see this through; we push everything to the ME level. is this what i want; if not, its not acceptable any longer. look at boob-jobs... the operation of limited execution maybe 10 years ago, is now so abundant in our culture, id suggest keeping any woman with moderately large mammories away from any open flames for fear of combustion!, but the excuse is always the same, "i did it for me" [although im sure their current 'friend' aka sexual partner, probably values them as well] but it all has to revolve around the ME level again. Why didnt you vote?-- well it doesnt affect ME. Why do you exercise?-- well it will make men notice ME. Why do you dump your boyfriend?-- he was smothering ME. damn you Oprah Winfrey. your sappy shit "take a momment for us" vignetes and preachings in your multi-million circulating sources have sucked the culture out of our country, and reduced it to MEs. and thats what we have now really. MEs. just a crowd of people, who scream the desire to be more individualistic than the person next to them; just in the name of individuality. it should be pretty clear to see we carry this over to our relationships as well, shouldnt it? When your boyfriend 'smothers' you, what does that mean? probably something tragic like, he didnt want to watch "Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood" with you and your mother, or that watching "Sex In the City" with you would only be tolerable if Sarah Jessica Parker threw a boob out once in a while... smothering you means only that we dont want to accept, and take second seat to your ME attitude approach to life. if your man beats you, i suppose thats a good reason to walk out on him; but because he doesnt want thursday morning yoga classes with you isnt. besides, all of you dress alike in the class, how is he supposed to find you? oh i forget.. you just scream 'ITS ME' like everyone else. forget you all. but dont worry, im not done with this topic.


ain't it fun~

s.

current musical selection: Guns 'N Roses - Its So Easy

dammit its thursday allready.. i really dont know where time goes to. its one of the most frustrating things i think ive ever never paid attention to. well, that and my slash and burn approach to the english grammar. but really; the older i get, the faster time seems to move. dont rank me up with einstein on this, but it seems to be holding up. it really seems like just yesterday when i was writing in here; which was sunday in actuallity; then i get some irrate view-email about my lack of postings... fuckit. i realize ive missed another week. and its not that im doing anything to move the time, just that it goes by; even sitting on the deck the other day reading a book after dinner, i had no clue that 3 and a half hours had went by... hell even strenuous physical labor seems to be moving quickly [what else would you call mowing monster hills with a push mower in 100 degree + heat index weather].

im told thats one of the signs of getting old... noticing the accelerated passage of time... thank god i havent hit the second plateau: not remembering the accelerated passage of time. but lets face it, i am getting old. some days its worse than others... and it is an obtuse thought, to even consider, that im ending up more and more like my parents; but it really is happening. i even find the trend happening at school... more so lately. the longer i live in the residence halls, the younger everyone seems; and im not talking weeks/days/years; im feeling generational differences between the kids as they come in now, even from when i started, let alone where im at now. one of the things that really put it into perspective was the whole internet/computer revolution. any generation older than mine [being born lets say before 1977] has had to learn to accept computers in the home... or even computers as a general concept.. before that nothing much existed... but with my generation from roughly that time forward until approximately 1990ish.. we all grew up with the primitive versions of at-home-computing... im talking strait laced atari 2600's, magnavox pong, and the commodore 64. we have grown up knowing, and using computers.. but weve watched them evolve in our hands, technology has moved slow enough that we adapt on the fly, earlier generations are befuddled by it and often require a lag time before accepting changes... then comes about the new micro-generation as i refer to it... these kids, now about 13 to 8 years old have no idea where computers started from--- they have no recollection, and have likely seen nothing of what their generation-mates have... never have they had blisters on their hands from pointed, crappily designed 1 button joysticks, or been forced to operated 'digital' gaming devices by LEVERs [as with the atari's] and not with a mouse. the kids now really dont know anything except the internet and what thats brought about. i catch myself in wonder watching my younger brother grasp technology without the wonder that i did; its allready been taken for granted. really. in the space of a half generation or less, a massive tidal wave of tecnological revolution has been brought and digested. shit, kids wont even know what vcr's [let alone Beta format... or even old super-8 reel film w/o sound!] are in few years... if its not TiVO or doesnt have some 3 dollar 'digital' wording moniker, its ancient history. watching my brother use technology [he will start high school this year] is an interesting process... i mean god dammit, these kids now will be watching moies and things that are all digitally constructed and stored in school, but just a few short years ago when i was there, we didnt have anythign like it, really even on the horizon. i remember struggling to create a working knowledge of PC Dos [yeah.. before microsoft -=bm=-] then my attempts at true UNIX [before it needed fancyshit names like Lindows and Redhat] language... and kids of this age and younger now, are perplexed at how to operate computers without pictures, GUI's and mouse... not to mention the black screen with green text is considered "pretty dull man"; fuck even Their versions of Unix have to have pictures [reference to previous citation of Lindows and Redhat distros of linux, and similar unix cored OS with GUI--- post edit S.A.] really thats what makes me feel old.. im seeing the sweeping changes that are occuring within my own generation... im watching it divide off and segment out...

as ive told some friends many times in conversation, this over technologication of daily life is crippling the way traditional america operates... as i continued with that rant, "we always will need someone to scoop horeshit from stalls, we allways need people to be janitor and scrub walls; where do allow for them in this new era?; where do cultivate the workers we need for general, non-skilled, descently paid manual labor tasks? and is it necessary that we 1- train them in technology, and 2-infuse it into what they do? next thing we will have electronic mops that tell you when to wring them out, or something similar in its stupidity in techno-infusion."

god i am getting old... hopefully someday i wont be as so old to no longer instruct a snot-nosed-punk kid how to scrub a floor; but have his mop do it for me... anywho.. a simple programming note - i think for next time ill dip in to a little VIEWER MAIL!!!! anything stuipd youd like my 2 cents on, or just something youd like to hear about me; go ahead and drop away at: scott-alvarado@uiowa.edu ; and as always i look forward to your responses to what i say.. just remember dont expect to see it end up here.. this is my space, not yours... until then

ain't it fun~
s.

current musical selection: Monster Magnet - God Says No

its raining outside.... really this is my favorite weather... i dont like the humidity in the 90% region-- but i do love it when it rains. gloomy-doomys.. thats pretty much my cup o' tea... cept i dont drink tea.. tea sucks ass....

"fireing in my friend, but i come back again and again... i just cant pretend, one more step and ill start bend..... i tried to live, then god says no
we go on our way; just waiting for that lucky day.....i tried every way, just so that god can blow me away"

ive come to realize a few things lately.... i was talking with a long time friend the other night; and i realized that no one ever wants to hear what i have to say. no no, its not her fault.. i mean really this is something so trivial enough that it never usually comes across my mind; but lately in conversations with multiple people, ive noticed it. i can mention something; and it doesnt matter. i can say a clever word; and i get a glare, then it resumes. i can try to be sympathetic and just listen and all will go fine; until i make a conjecture, change of subject, or mark of advice; then it grinds to a halt. really interesting how fluidly the conversation will wing around my attempt to speak.

"scary thoughts, wishing we were dead... you wont get caught unless you are queer... then youll be ready for the new frontier.
its good to be bad; its the best time youll ever have.... what the hell is this ultra fad.... just play it cool, and lets work on our ass.. you start to laugh, then god says no"

i guess its always been interesting to me how people tend to express their feelings. alot of what people think is so complex, to me settles out being rather trivial. maybe thats too condescending; and maybe thats just right... seems to me people make big, big predicaments over small occurances or events that really no longer warrant any thought. granted, im not removing myself from this category; sure some of my past actions did seem, in retrospect, pointless to worry about... and really from that perspective its all and all rather pointless for me to have said or done anything, with circumstances standing as they did. but people it seems arent that way. people seem to need something to be catastrophic, something so big and debilitating that they must triumph through it all, and only with near mystical prowess and perserverance, will they truely live on... even after bobby never called them back last night, when he said he would. trivial shit indeed.

"I need some love, to start the show... but ask just once, and god says no...a point of life flies through my head; a scary thought like I was someone else... adn dont get lost now and show no fear; then youll be ready for a new frontier..."

maybe im not as compassionate as my peers would suggest i need to be. maybe ive just grown up while theyve only grown in. i can recollect when i thought things were a mess... honestly they might have been, with all the circumstances that id put myself into, but wholey they were my own.... my own mistakes, my own misgivings, my own illusions... and much like the song goes, "I bought me an illusion, and i put it on the wall.. i let it fill head with dreams, and i had to have them all... but oh the taste is never so sweet as what youd beleive it is.. well i guess it never is" [partial lyrics to Guns N Roses "Locomotive" from the Use Your Illusion 2 album---post edit S.A] but even despite of all that, i rarely turned my frustrations against another, and very, very seldomnly admitted what was going on to others; and only then in the closest of confidence to friends... to me it never became a nightly show... or the only topic of oratation... maybe thats the difference.. i really never let myself hose people with my own self doubts, pitty and remorse.. i had plenty of that for myself... some say i still do.

maybe its my own rules to the game, but i think proper edicate of conversation, especially when confronted with emotionally laden tales, is to allow some else to talk. yes yes i suppose you should dam the river before the lake, but what are you really expecting this other person to do with the baggage you drop on them? if you dont want it returned, dont bring it to them. own up to yourself first.


ain't it fun~
s.

--------------------------------------
all italics are the lyrics to the song "God Says No" by Monster Magnet
buy the album.. its goooooood shtuff

geez two days or so are allready come and gone...

lately ive been loosing myself in books... books are good.. granted, this isnt something i would probably have said several years ago, but for right now, and for whatever reasons, ive been really focusuing on completing massive amounts of reading.. current stop is the famed "Turner Diaries" Interesting book. Short too. the paperback version i have is something like 200 pages.. ive easily covered 2/3's of it in about 2 hours... yes, it does focus on lots of nasty little ideas like racisim and anti-semetics... but also hits home on several other issues, dealing with the liberties of personal ownership, government restriction of the private sector, and believe it or not, immigration status. It was written in the '70s.. and it shows.. the books actually takes place in the early '90s, but little things havent come about [like the INTERNET] among others; but it is quite focused stab on social commentary, one interesting portion:

" Nor have the girls remained entirely passive. Sexual debauchery of every sort on the part of young white ment and women-- and even children in their pre-teens -- has reached a level which would have been unimaginable only two or three years ago. The queers, the fetishists, the mixed-race couples, the sadists, and the exhibitionists-- urged on by the mass media -- are parading their perversions in public, and the public is joining them. " [Macdonald, 58]

its really quite shocking how close this is to whats going on in american society today; to claim that thongs on 12 year old girls is anything but the stuff of 'sexual debauchery' that its labeled in the above citation, is pure non-sense. today we've 'liberated' ourselves to such a pedistal that not only is this type of utter attrocious conduct, is not only acceptable, but MODEL-able. If it werent, Britney and Christina would be out of a job. Hell you deviant sick fucks [no, i will not allow you the curteous of polite and non-judgemental naming] should really be locked up. As far as for the rest of the sexual fetishes and the like.. watch Jerry Springer some afternoon. Havent watched any episodes dealing with flowers and bunny rabits... no, instead they all parade aroud in their life's grand state of turmoil; utterly torn between the rules of safe and harbored sato-masichism and the daring and courageous advent of the homo-erotic sato-masichistic. What turmoil indeed.

Thats about half a sentence from my volumeous tale of rant. I really shouldnt go much farther than that.... so instead, the 'Turner Diaries' is actually hitting on some interesting ideas, like i said before, again its plain as day to see how people will make the quite literal 'rip' of racial content; and most of them will never look deeper than that; but if one should manage it, extrapolating the basic arguments and applying it into quasi-modern context is relevant. Case-in-point: basic argument of private ownership of firearms is key to lighting the main-character and co. into action, which is ofcourse, perpretrated by government action. The parallel that leapt into my head translated to "DMCA" [read it all if youd like.. its really long, pretty much its the definitive end of personal 'ownership' rights over electronic media and devices [IE- it nixes out your right as consumer to make a copy of your music cd, that you bought.. citing that it is a license you purchased, and the act you attempt is not in good faith of that licensing agreement... ultimately this law has paved the way for the copy protection crap that we see now.. including the zone coding on DVDs; but read up on it, its your right afteral... {S.A; post edit}]
Yeah i guess i read into it a bit much; but i really do see the DMCA issue being replicated with Macdonalds [a psuedonym for the real author: William Pierce, recently died] portrayal of government backed seizure of legitimately owned private property. Case-in-point 2: the use of the government owned, computer network for checking of citizen status || yep, you guessed it, Washington's answer to the 'Al Queada" problem.. creating a mass citizen database, for checking up on the authenticity and accuracy of a person to be inside this country's borders. Ofcourse theres also the mention of a September 11th attack, [p.94 ], or the media's grand epiphony to connect Timmothy McVeigh with the annhydous ammonia truck bomb plot, with the similar exploits of the main character on the FBI head quarters [p.38]. But in my mind this all goes to show you, who actually reads the stuff we write. Shocking yes, but people like me do read, and unfortunately we also have rather hard-lined separatists and idealists who also read; and alot of this just becomes food for thought for them. If the cold hearted killers, or even hardnosed business men seaching for the top profit [McVeigh, 9/11 hijackers and co-conspirators, and ofcourse Hollywood execs and the RIIA] find in our literature; i really fear for what those young girls, sporting those trendy Abercrombe thongs will pick up on.

Granted, im a cold, vile and direct person. I make no appologies for that, but really, what kind of message does that send? really we cant expect a truely harbored existence for our young impresionable children of today, but for christ's sake; why do we feel to propagate our own debaucherous activites down to their accessible reach? Sure, I, as a creepy old man, many have some really horrid dreams and fantasies about 'bubble-bath time with Brittney', by why are we ptiching these types of things back at the 12 year olds? I mean really, check out a half hour of MTV; the videos of makeout sessions and lude sex acts, commonly attributed to music starts, are now drawing in outside influences [IE- Anna Kournikova of the tennis world in Enrique Iglases vid.. SA post edit] not to mention the sick perversion of 'hollywoodism' we attribute to most rapp'ers lifestyles. Is it really the ideal type for our society? Even if; are we really correct in making this point for these kids, at such an early age?


you decide it. ill keep reading, and leave you pitiful pop culture media whores to your own world, and return to my books.

ain't it fun~
s.

POST NUMERO UNO!

Yep.. Im here. Its really funny, i used to do something like this on my old website [back when xoom.com was alive... god rest ye soul~!]; it was a pain in the ass to keep updating everything in a txt file to do it... im glad technology finally caught up to me once again.

Anywho. post numero uno should be a joyous one.. so ill talk about myself in another entry. As you can tell, if your cool, the title of this blog was ripped from my two of my favorite Guns n Roses songs... Estranged and Its So Easy... GnFnR for life! yeah.. first post is going well.. im glad i have such a great audience here tonight. ill get into more concrete things later... just getting her set up.....

THIS BLOG WAS BORN ON JULY 23, 2002 at 1:53am CST.

ain't it fun~
s.