i really need to write in this.

i really, really do.

i just dealt with something, that i think was wrong. that. really bothered me. then i went out, and kept talking until maybe its somewhat fixed. needless to say this is complicated. it involves someone i definitely want in my life. and maybe they dont want to be in it. maybe they do. its just not easy to say anything.

all i can say is, i really, really need to write about it and vent some.. and i just cant. i hate this shitty job and the time it takes, and how tired i am after a day of it. i just want 2 things right now. i want some money. and i really want to have someone in my life for me. is that so much to ask? is it really?